Dear Sight Ministry Partners:
Please, when you read the following article, allow the Holy Spirit to produce in you a spirit of authentic love and compassion toward the family of Harvey Milk rather than being judgmental and condemning. I would ask that you pray for Gov. Schwarzenegger and do not allow your flesh to enter into anger and hatred. It is important that as followers of Jesus that we always die to our flesh and submit to the Holy Spirit. Anger, condemnation, judgmentalism, and hatred are not included in the characteristics of Spiritual fruit listed in Galatians 5:22-23.
There are many people who have been blinded by the true enemy concerning same-sex attraction issues. This is why the LORD raised up the SIGHT MINISTRY. The LORD has called us to follow His example in “preaching the gospel to the poor, proclaiming release to the captives, and recovery of SIGHT to the blind” and “to set free those who are downtrodden” (Luke 4:18).
I wanted to share this article with you so that, primarily, you would be aware of what is going on in our culture so you can pray for a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit in the Church. It is not our calling to enter into the political arena and take up the fight against the gay movement, but rather, it is our calling to bring glory and honor to the name that is above all names and to focus on the fact that we find ultimate delight and joy in Who God is and that we point others to Him Who alone can bring lasting fulfillment and life that nothing in this world can offer including same-sex expressions of love and sex.
An important dynamic of why our culture is at this place is because an overwhelming number of believers have not experienced true redemption that resonates from a personal love relationship with our God, Creator & Father in Heaven. The day of “accepting Jesus as our Savior so that when we die we will go to Heaven” is over. That is only a part of redemption but it is not the whole story. Redemption certainly includes addressing our eternal destiny but it also addresses life now in this broken and fallen world where we are searching for the meaning and purpose of life. We have the answer but we have not always lived as though we believe it. We really don’t seem all that different from anyone else in the world. The world is not at all interested in seeing a local congregation or Christian leaders build their own little kingdom. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans and singing rock’n roll on Sunday morning does not make one necessarily culturally relevant. Submitting our self-centeredness to the Holy Spirit who then lives out the radical life and truth of Jesus through us where ever we are and where ever we go truly connects with culture. That is being culturally relevant indeed! Just simply read the words of Jesus and you will be reminded of how radical His teaching and call to life really is.
John Piper says it well: “The chief purpose of man is to glorify God BY enjoying Him forever” and also, “God is most glorified in us when we are MOST satisfied in Him.”
Don’t forget to check out the article below then pay attention to how you respond in your heart towards those individuals mentioned in the article.
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nasvhille, TN 37214
615-509-0782
www.thesightministry.org
"How can we dare to be so absolutely unbelieving when God totally surrounds us?" - Oswald Chambers
Calif. students to learn about gay pioneer
By: Michael Foust
Original article can be found here, http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?Id=31452.
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (BP)--Students in many of California's public schools next year will be learning about homosexual pioneer Harvey Milk under a bill signed into law Sunday by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger that commemorates the life of the late politician and makes May 22 "Harvey Milk Day."
Schwarzenegger signed the bill, S.B. 572, on the last possible day he could, frustrating conservatives who had lobbied the Republican governor to veto it. Schwarzenegger vetoed an almost identical bill last year but was under more pressure to sign it in light of a movie about Milk and after President Obama awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom posthumously to Milk, the nation's first openly homosexual person elected to public office. Milk was a San Francisco city supervisor who was assassinated in 1978 by another supervisor.
Although observation of Harvey Milk Day is optional, many schools and teachers in the left-leaning state no doubt will take advantage of the opportunity. The text of the new law says "all public schools and educational institutions are encouraged to observe" the day.
The law further says it would be appropriate to have "exercises remembering the life of Harvey Milk, recognizing his accomplishments, and familiarizing pupils with the contributions he made to this state." The law commemorates Milk with what the state calendar calls a day of "significance." The only other such days are the Day of the Teacher (second Wednesday of May), John Muir Day (April 21) and California Poppy Day (April 6). May 22 is Milk's birthday.
Schwarzenegger also signed a bill, S.B. 54, that allows the state to recognize "gay marriages" from other states if they were performed during the nearly five months it was legal in 2008.
The Harvey Milk bill, in fact, could impact any future debate about "gay marriage" legalization in California. Public schools -- and what is and is not taught in them -- were at the forefront of last year's campaign to pass Proposition 8, the constitutional amendment that prohibited the redefinition of marriage.
Ron Prentice, the executive director of ProtectMarriage.com, which promoted Prop 8, sent an e-mail to supporters Monday telling constituents, "You may remember that during the Prop 8 campaign those pushing for homosexual marriage proclaimed that school children would not be forced to learn about homosexuality and same-sex marriage. But now, every school district in California is encouraged to honor Harvey Milk specifically for his sexual orientation."
Prentice added, "Governor Schwarzenegger, instead of acting on behalf of children and the vast majority of parents who want their children protected from indoctrination in the public schools, has instead folded his tent to the pressures of special-interest."
Schwarzenegger did not issue a signing statement, although spokesman Aaron McLear told the Associated Press that Milk "has become much more of a symbol of the gay community than he was a year ago because of those things [the movie and the White House recognition]. That made the difference from last year: he's really come to symbolize the gay community in California."
Randy Thomasson, an opponent of the law and the president of SaveCalifornia.com, had said Milk's sexual escapades made him unfit to be pushed as a role model. Thomasson's press release quoted from "The Mayor of Castro Street," a popular biography about Milk. Milk was 48 when he died but always had a desire for teen boys and men in their early 20s, the book says. He also advocated having multiple partners, it says.
Although Schwarzenegger pleased conservatives in past years by twice vetoing bills that would legalize "gay marriage," he now supports "gay marriage." He opposed Prop 8 and has done little in the past year that social conservatives support.
--30--
Michael Foust is an assistant editor of Baptist Press.
Copyright (c) 2009 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press. Visit www.bpnews.net. BP News -- witness the difference! Covering the critical issues that shape your life, work and ministry. BP News is a ministry of Baptist Press, the daily news service of Southern Baptists.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Truth About Exodus Ministries
The following article does a good job setting the record straight concerning the mission, beliefs, and methods of Exodus International ministries. I hope you will read the article. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you need assistance. Phone: 615-509-0782. Email: richard@thesightministry.org
October 7, 2009 by Julie Neils
Filed under Culture, Educate, Featured, Homosexuality, Pop Culture, Post-gay, Youth & Young Adults
I’m always curious to see what people are saying about Exodus and as the PR person, I’m pretty sure there’s something in my job description about that too. I’ve heard some winners in the years I’ve spent working on and around this subject. Hmm . let’s see. According to some, Exodus believes in inhumane psychiatry that harkens back to the Dark Ages. Others say we peddle nonsensical, mind-altering remedies to unsuspecting prey that erases any and all attractions. Still others’ seem to think we hold mysterious camps with all the security measures of the FBI training facility in Quantico – just in case anyone would think of escaping. Of course, none of that is remotely true and all of it is wholly laughable, but it is amazing how hearsay begats rumors and rumors begat hard news. So, here’s the 411 on the top myths about Exodus International to set the record straight (no pun intended):
THE CURE . . . and I don’t mean the 80’s band:
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the words, “Exodus International” and “religious group that claims to cure gays” in a sentence I’d be rich . . . and in Tahiti right now. Seriously, though, the Bible teaches that the only form of sexual expression God intended for His creation is between a man and woman married to one another. All else, heterosexual or homosexual, falls outside of His plan and constitutes as sin. That said, not many wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. As complex human beings, sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those, but as sexual beings, we all make decisions about how to express ourselves. For those who consider the Bible to be life-giving truth, homosexual attractions and the desire to act on them are at odds with the desire to live a life that reflects the Christian faith and often results in moral tension. We know, though, that pursuing a relationship with God over these attractions, won’t always make the feelings go away. They may stay the same, lessen or possibly shift towards the opposite sex. That’s not the point. The point is to pursue a life beyond attractions, feelings and societal labels that is guided and defined by Jesus Christ and truth of Scripture. And for the record, living with conflicted desires is not the same as living a life dominated by them! So, to sum up, we don’t believe there is a “cure” for homosexuality, adultery, arrogance, gossip or any other sin. There is, however, Jesus who paid the price for it all when He died on the cross. Then there is the daily, sometimes moment-by-moment, decision to live a life congruent with His teaching.
AVERSION, I mean CONVERSION THERAPY:
“So, how does it work, conversion therapy, I mean?” is an all-too-common question most Exodus staffers are asked on a routine basis. Truthfully, most of us don’t know. Furthermore, most of us don’t know anyone who has actually undergone this type of therapy. It’s only used by a handful of professionals, but for some reason, folks seem to think that it’s the primary function of Exodus. It’s not. “Reparative or conversion therapy” is a counseling method used in addressing unwanted same-sex attraction to repair the damage of past relationships that may have contributed to its initial development. In general, we think every professional and their client ought to be able to determine the methods and options most helpful in accomplishing their joint goals, including this one, but it isn’t the sole approach used, nor is it essential. That’s because the decision to leave a gay identity behind isn’t necessarily about one method, one program, one counseling approach our even about becoming straight. It’s about pursuing a Christ-centered identity rooted in God’s definition of us as individuals.
U.S.S. PRAY THE GAY AWAY:
Prayer is certainly an important part of a Christian’s life, but it’s not a magic formula. If you find one let us know. J This mantra ignorantly dismisses the complicated issues that often underlie attractions and deeper still – identity. As I said before, we don’t think many, if any, wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. Sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those. As complex individuals, we must also take into account the way others hurt us and the way we hurt ourselves. For many who contact Exodus, hurt has become a familiar, but unwelcome fixture in life. Talking to God about these things is part of a dynamic relationship with Him, but it doesn’t always change the fact that dealing with it is just plain hard work.
CAMP GAYBEGONE:
As for those mysterious gay-to-straight “boot camps,” they don’t exist. And neither do any other Exodus camps – mosquito infested or otherwise. We do have an annual conference and some local ones too – held at churches, conference centers and Christian college campuses -just like other Christian conferences, though I’ll freely admit that the content is eye-poppingly unlike most other Christian conferences. We aren’t interested in bludgeoning others with our big black Bibles or our views. Truth be told, we can barely keep up with the 300,000 calls and e-mails we get every year from those who do want our input.
Exodus International doesn’t exist to make gay people straight, promote a formula for “success,” to make money or even to pass legislation. We exist to help others live a life that reflects the Christian faith. We’ve found that the opposite of homosexuality is most certainly not heterosexuality. It is holiness. It is loving God and being loved by Him. It is accepting His identity for us, instead of everyone else’s. But those things don’t often make headlines and I suspect that, unfortunately, we’ll continue to see more crazy things out there churning around in the rumor mill.
October 7, 2009 by Julie Neils
Filed under Culture, Educate, Featured, Homosexuality, Pop Culture, Post-gay, Youth & Young Adults
I’m always curious to see what people are saying about Exodus and as the PR person, I’m pretty sure there’s something in my job description about that too. I’ve heard some winners in the years I’ve spent working on and around this subject. Hmm . let’s see. According to some, Exodus believes in inhumane psychiatry that harkens back to the Dark Ages. Others say we peddle nonsensical, mind-altering remedies to unsuspecting prey that erases any and all attractions. Still others’ seem to think we hold mysterious camps with all the security measures of the FBI training facility in Quantico – just in case anyone would think of escaping. Of course, none of that is remotely true and all of it is wholly laughable, but it is amazing how hearsay begats rumors and rumors begat hard news. So, here’s the 411 on the top myths about Exodus International to set the record straight (no pun intended):
THE CURE . . . and I don’t mean the 80’s band:
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the words, “Exodus International” and “religious group that claims to cure gays” in a sentence I’d be rich . . . and in Tahiti right now. Seriously, though, the Bible teaches that the only form of sexual expression God intended for His creation is between a man and woman married to one another. All else, heterosexual or homosexual, falls outside of His plan and constitutes as sin. That said, not many wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. As complex human beings, sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those, but as sexual beings, we all make decisions about how to express ourselves. For those who consider the Bible to be life-giving truth, homosexual attractions and the desire to act on them are at odds with the desire to live a life that reflects the Christian faith and often results in moral tension. We know, though, that pursuing a relationship with God over these attractions, won’t always make the feelings go away. They may stay the same, lessen or possibly shift towards the opposite sex. That’s not the point. The point is to pursue a life beyond attractions, feelings and societal labels that is guided and defined by Jesus Christ and truth of Scripture. And for the record, living with conflicted desires is not the same as living a life dominated by them! So, to sum up, we don’t believe there is a “cure” for homosexuality, adultery, arrogance, gossip or any other sin. There is, however, Jesus who paid the price for it all when He died on the cross. Then there is the daily, sometimes moment-by-moment, decision to live a life congruent with His teaching.
AVERSION, I mean CONVERSION THERAPY:
“So, how does it work, conversion therapy, I mean?” is an all-too-common question most Exodus staffers are asked on a routine basis. Truthfully, most of us don’t know. Furthermore, most of us don’t know anyone who has actually undergone this type of therapy. It’s only used by a handful of professionals, but for some reason, folks seem to think that it’s the primary function of Exodus. It’s not. “Reparative or conversion therapy” is a counseling method used in addressing unwanted same-sex attraction to repair the damage of past relationships that may have contributed to its initial development. In general, we think every professional and their client ought to be able to determine the methods and options most helpful in accomplishing their joint goals, including this one, but it isn’t the sole approach used, nor is it essential. That’s because the decision to leave a gay identity behind isn’t necessarily about one method, one program, one counseling approach our even about becoming straight. It’s about pursuing a Christ-centered identity rooted in God’s definition of us as individuals.
U.S.S. PRAY THE GAY AWAY:
Prayer is certainly an important part of a Christian’s life, but it’s not a magic formula. If you find one let us know. J This mantra ignorantly dismisses the complicated issues that often underlie attractions and deeper still – identity. As I said before, we don’t think many, if any, wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. Sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those. As complex individuals, we must also take into account the way others hurt us and the way we hurt ourselves. For many who contact Exodus, hurt has become a familiar, but unwelcome fixture in life. Talking to God about these things is part of a dynamic relationship with Him, but it doesn’t always change the fact that dealing with it is just plain hard work.
CAMP GAYBEGONE:
As for those mysterious gay-to-straight “boot camps,” they don’t exist. And neither do any other Exodus camps – mosquito infested or otherwise. We do have an annual conference and some local ones too – held at churches, conference centers and Christian college campuses -just like other Christian conferences, though I’ll freely admit that the content is eye-poppingly unlike most other Christian conferences. We aren’t interested in bludgeoning others with our big black Bibles or our views. Truth be told, we can barely keep up with the 300,000 calls and e-mails we get every year from those who do want our input.
Exodus International doesn’t exist to make gay people straight, promote a formula for “success,” to make money or even to pass legislation. We exist to help others live a life that reflects the Christian faith. We’ve found that the opposite of homosexuality is most certainly not heterosexuality. It is holiness. It is loving God and being loved by Him. It is accepting His identity for us, instead of everyone else’s. But those things don’t often make headlines and I suspect that, unfortunately, we’ll continue to see more crazy things out there churning around in the rumor mill.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Middle School Youth More Open to Coming Out Sooner, Article Reports
October 1, 2009 by Randy Thomas
Filed under Bi-sexuality, Educate, Featured, Gay, Homosexuality, Lesbian, Pop Culture, Post-gay, Schools, Sexuality, Youth & Young Adults
Comments (0)
Middle School Youth More Open to Coming Out Sooner, Article Reports
Written by: Chris Stump | September 29th, 2009 – Cross-posted at Exodus Youth.
An article was recently published in The New York Times reporting that middle school youth are more open to coming out earlier. It’s a rather lengthy article focusing on several middle school teens who have come out in their schools and to their families. It’s interesting to see how the climate has changed in middle schools even since I was there a little over ten years ago. Being gay was still somewhat taboo. It was only used as a humiliating term. You were labeled, but never did you claim that identity. I remember middle school being a very confusing time period for me and everyone else. In my day (which wasn’t too long ago), little identity clusters started to form in middle school. You had the “cool” kids, you had the “preppy” kids, and there were the nerds, and the unpopulars. Everyone was looking for an identity – wanting to fit in…somewhere.
Something that concerns me about what this article reports is all the kids who come out at twelve and thirteen years of age are embracing an identity based on their feelings. I don’t know about you, but I know when I was a middle schooler, my feelings were all over the place. They weren’t a trusted source for my identity. But that is what these youth are going by – how they feel towards others of the same-sex. They label and trap themselves in a sexual identity. Being gay becomes who they are entirely.
The article discusses how the climate has changed over the years, making it “easier” for middle school youth to come out. Popular culture has most certainly paved the way towards affirmation and acceptance with positive portrayals of gays and lesbians. But does that make it ok? I believe it pushes youth to an even greater identity crisis, urging them to accept an identity they may not even fully understand at the age of 11 or 12. With the glamorizing of bisexuality in the media with pop songs such as Katy Perry’s infamous “I Kissed a Girl”, it has become trendy and even posh for girls to be bisexual. Many of the students in the article mention a larger population of bisexual girls who seem to become more popular after they’ve divulged their sexual preference.
When there is positive reinforcement by peers, it’s hard not to embrace a label. Instead of encouraging the expression of their sexuality, we need to be concerned with the motivation of girls who claim to be bisexual. The media is saying it’s cool and hot. But it really only musters up more gender confusion.
Another thing that stuck out to me was when the author mentioned fluidity in sexuality. So many in the secular world agree with the idea that sexuality is a fluid thing. But how is it so hard to embrace the idea of people moving from a homosexual identity to a post-homosexual identity? That’s just another “expression” of sexuality being fluid. But, yet, it is scorned and ridiculed for being absurd.
Why is popular culture the most influential medium on youth today? It certainly does not have any moral compass. The message of pop culture is “be who you want to be/you are how you feel/do what you want”. Where it seems from this article that these middle school youth have found clarity in who they are, I believe it has only brought more confusion. Middle School could be described in my life by this one word: chaos. Feelings are swirling around, hormones are going haywire, and we’re desperately looking for an identity. This is the time in a young person’s life to not jump to any conclusions, and embrace an identity they don’t even quite understand. We are more than just our feelings. We are more than just who we are attracted to.
Instead of celebrating the earlier embrace of a gay identity, we need to be cautious and concerned. Embracing an identity based on feelings as an 11-13 year old child, whose brain is still developing and hormones are raging, is jumping the gun. Pop culture is steering the trends in our youth today, without a moral compass. Are we going to allow pop culture to be the only wisdom our youth hear?
October 1, 2009 by Randy Thomas
Filed under Bi-sexuality, Educate, Featured, Gay, Homosexuality, Lesbian, Pop Culture, Post-gay, Schools, Sexuality, Youth & Young Adults
Comments (0)
Middle School Youth More Open to Coming Out Sooner, Article Reports
Written by: Chris Stump | September 29th, 2009 – Cross-posted at Exodus Youth.
An article was recently published in The New York Times reporting that middle school youth are more open to coming out earlier. It’s a rather lengthy article focusing on several middle school teens who have come out in their schools and to their families. It’s interesting to see how the climate has changed in middle schools even since I was there a little over ten years ago. Being gay was still somewhat taboo. It was only used as a humiliating term. You were labeled, but never did you claim that identity. I remember middle school being a very confusing time period for me and everyone else. In my day (which wasn’t too long ago), little identity clusters started to form in middle school. You had the “cool” kids, you had the “preppy” kids, and there were the nerds, and the unpopulars. Everyone was looking for an identity – wanting to fit in…somewhere.
Something that concerns me about what this article reports is all the kids who come out at twelve and thirteen years of age are embracing an identity based on their feelings. I don’t know about you, but I know when I was a middle schooler, my feelings were all over the place. They weren’t a trusted source for my identity. But that is what these youth are going by – how they feel towards others of the same-sex. They label and trap themselves in a sexual identity. Being gay becomes who they are entirely.
The article discusses how the climate has changed over the years, making it “easier” for middle school youth to come out. Popular culture has most certainly paved the way towards affirmation and acceptance with positive portrayals of gays and lesbians. But does that make it ok? I believe it pushes youth to an even greater identity crisis, urging them to accept an identity they may not even fully understand at the age of 11 or 12. With the glamorizing of bisexuality in the media with pop songs such as Katy Perry’s infamous “I Kissed a Girl”, it has become trendy and even posh for girls to be bisexual. Many of the students in the article mention a larger population of bisexual girls who seem to become more popular after they’ve divulged their sexual preference.
When there is positive reinforcement by peers, it’s hard not to embrace a label. Instead of encouraging the expression of their sexuality, we need to be concerned with the motivation of girls who claim to be bisexual. The media is saying it’s cool and hot. But it really only musters up more gender confusion.
Another thing that stuck out to me was when the author mentioned fluidity in sexuality. So many in the secular world agree with the idea that sexuality is a fluid thing. But how is it so hard to embrace the idea of people moving from a homosexual identity to a post-homosexual identity? That’s just another “expression” of sexuality being fluid. But, yet, it is scorned and ridiculed for being absurd.
Why is popular culture the most influential medium on youth today? It certainly does not have any moral compass. The message of pop culture is “be who you want to be/you are how you feel/do what you want”. Where it seems from this article that these middle school youth have found clarity in who they are, I believe it has only brought more confusion. Middle School could be described in my life by this one word: chaos. Feelings are swirling around, hormones are going haywire, and we’re desperately looking for an identity. This is the time in a young person’s life to not jump to any conclusions, and embrace an identity they don’t even quite understand. We are more than just our feelings. We are more than just who we are attracted to.
Instead of celebrating the earlier embrace of a gay identity, we need to be cautious and concerned. Embracing an identity based on feelings as an 11-13 year old child, whose brain is still developing and hormones are raging, is jumping the gun. Pop culture is steering the trends in our youth today, without a moral compass. Are we going to allow pop culture to be the only wisdom our youth hear?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sight Ministry INSight Newsletter (Part A: Update)
Sight Ministry News
August 2009
Financial Blessings:
Budget Total for 2009
(Includes staffing and total operating expenses)........$60,000
Monthly Total Required to Meet Budget...................$ 5,000
Current Contribution Patterns for 2009:
January – 9 Individuals Giving.......$1,675 ($3,325)
February – 21 Individuals Giving.....$2,038 ($2,962)
March – 15 Individuals Giving........$2,200 ($2,800)
April – 21 Individuals Giving........$4,372 ($628)
May – 27 Individuals Giving..........$6,565
June – 25 Individuals Giving.........$5,004
July – 24 Individuals Giving.........$4,768 ($232)
Join Us in Prayer As We Seek Where the LORD Is Working
+PRAISE for the way the LORD is providing for the needs of the Sight Ministry.
+PRAISE the LORD for an incredible Exodus Conference and for speaking through my workshop.
+PRAY as we prepare to attend the Love Won Out Conference to be held in Birmingham, AL, November 7. We will have an exhibit
+PRAY for the LORD to show you who He would have you invite to support us.
+PRAY for wisdom as the LORD continues to open eyes of individuals who struggle with same-sex attraction issues and for their family members.
+PRAY for wisdom to minister to individuals and their families, to write articles, to engage churches, and to conduct workshops.
+PRAY For direction in developing a new website.
+PRAY for direction in networking with churches (Exodus Church Network).
+PRAY for participants as we take a summer break from our support groups and as we seek the LORD’s direction for our Fall Semester.
+PRAY for individuals who are just beginning their journey of healing and recovery through one-on-one sessions (there are several).
+PRAY for Martie Rader as she leads our ministry to women.
+PRAY for Tonya Green as she leads our ministry to wives.
+PRAY for Shayne & Christi Gilpin as they lead our Family & Friends ministry.
+PRAY for Allen Hildreth as he leads our branch ministry in Knoxville, TN (Acts12).
+PRAY for the Board of Directors as they seek the LORD’s leading: Teresa Sullivan, Chair, Joseph Simpson, Treasurer, David Adcock, Leigh Ann Dans, and Ruse Tucker.
+PRAY as I serve as the Exodus Southern Gulf Regional Representative.
If you sense the LORD calling you to join Him in what He is doing through The Sight Ministry please use the enclosed envelopes to send us your contributions or you may contact our treasurer, Joseph Simpson: treasurer@thesightministry.org. My email: richard@thesightministry.org & phone: 615-509-0782. Feel free to contact me anytime.
August 2009
Financial Blessings:
Budget Total for 2009
(Includes staffing and total operating expenses)........$60,000
Monthly Total Required to Meet Budget...................$ 5,000
Current Contribution Patterns for 2009:
January – 9 Individuals Giving.......$1,675 ($3,325)
February – 21 Individuals Giving.....$2,038 ($2,962)
March – 15 Individuals Giving........$2,200 ($2,800)
April – 21 Individuals Giving........$4,372 ($628)
May – 27 Individuals Giving..........$6,565
June – 25 Individuals Giving.........$5,004
July – 24 Individuals Giving.........$4,768 ($232)
Join Us in Prayer As We Seek Where the LORD Is Working
+PRAISE for the way the LORD is providing for the needs of the Sight Ministry.
+PRAISE the LORD for an incredible Exodus Conference and for speaking through my workshop.
+PRAY as we prepare to attend the Love Won Out Conference to be held in Birmingham, AL, November 7. We will have an exhibit
+PRAY for the LORD to show you who He would have you invite to support us.
+PRAY for wisdom as the LORD continues to open eyes of individuals who struggle with same-sex attraction issues and for their family members.
+PRAY for wisdom to minister to individuals and their families, to write articles, to engage churches, and to conduct workshops.
+PRAY For direction in developing a new website.
+PRAY for direction in networking with churches (Exodus Church Network).
+PRAY for participants as we take a summer break from our support groups and as we seek the LORD’s direction for our Fall Semester.
+PRAY for individuals who are just beginning their journey of healing and recovery through one-on-one sessions (there are several).
+PRAY for Martie Rader as she leads our ministry to women.
+PRAY for Tonya Green as she leads our ministry to wives.
+PRAY for Shayne & Christi Gilpin as they lead our Family & Friends ministry.
+PRAY for Allen Hildreth as he leads our branch ministry in Knoxville, TN (Acts12).
+PRAY for the Board of Directors as they seek the LORD’s leading: Teresa Sullivan, Chair, Joseph Simpson, Treasurer, David Adcock, Leigh Ann Dans, and Ruse Tucker.
+PRAY as I serve as the Exodus Southern Gulf Regional Representative.
If you sense the LORD calling you to join Him in what He is doing through The Sight Ministry please use the enclosed envelopes to send us your contributions or you may contact our treasurer, Joseph Simpson: treasurer@thesightministry.org. My email: richard@thesightministry.org & phone: 615-509-0782. Feel free to contact me anytime.
Sight Ministry INSight Newsletter (Part B: My Testimony)
Preface: The following article will be new information for some of you and for others there will be some information you may not be aware of. My life is an on-going process of healing, recovery, reconciliation and making amends with every opportunity the LORD gives me. Please feel free to contact me (see contact information following the article) and/or reply to this blog article. I would also be happy to set up a meeting with you if you are interested. May the LORD receive all honor and glory.
Richard Holloman – My Story
Scripture: Matthew 22:36-40; Romans 8:1; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
It is not easy for me to share the story of my life. I still battle with shame and guilt and I sometimes allow the enemy to discourage me as I think about what I have done and as I think about all the people I have hurt. I know the LORD has forgiven me and has called me to a journey of healing, recovery and freedom.
I feel the LORD has called me to a life-time of making amends with every opportunity He allows. I want to use this as an opportunity to apologize to the Church in general and to all Southern Baptists (the denomination in which I was saved and through which I have been serving in ministry since 1969) and to every individual I have offended and hurt. As I share my story my prayer is that the LORD will work reconciliation and healing in the lives of anyone I have hurt.
I know who I truly am in Christ and in His confidence I share what the LORD is doing in my life. He orchestrated my exposure to bring about my healing and to bring glory to His name. May you find hope and redemption in Him.
My Father was an abusive, violent alcoholic. I was terrified of him and I had deep hatred towards him. He died when I was 7 years old and I rejoiced at his passing. I have no memories of my father or my mother ever holding me or verbalizing their love for me. I grew up starving for love, nurture, affirmation and acceptance.
I was physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused by my father. This was unknown to the rest of my family as far as I know. I was introduced to pornography when I was six and was molested by an older boy when I was 9 years old. I suffered from low self-esteem and was extremely shy and felt a deep sense of shame about myself but I couldn’t understand why. As a young boy I felt that no one cared about me or truly loved me. I did not relate to other boys or men and felt more comfortable around girls.
I began acting out sexually with other boys what I had experienced and learned from early childhood sexual abuse. I was only seven years old when I initiated my first sexual encounter with another boy in my neighborhood. I continued a life of acting out throughout my teen years, college years and throughout my adult life until my exposure in 1995.
I made a profession of faith in Christ when I was seventeen years old thinking that God would take away my same sex attraction and my sexual compulsion. As a Christian I became deeply depressed about my dark secrets. No one knew my secrets and I no longer felt I could deal with this darkness. When I was a student in college I made my first attempt to take my life by taking 300 aspirin. I was unconscious for two days and was deathly ill but I survived.
I married when I was twenty one years old because I didn’t want anyone to have any suspicions of my secrets. I also foolishly thought that marriage might make an impact on my longings. Though I married for the wrong reasons I truly loved my wife and tried very hard to be a good husband and father. I was not in a healthy emotional place and was diligent to keep her from ever knowing about my secrets. She was an incredible lady who expressed deep faith in God and was very loyal to me and to our son. I live with regret that I was never honest with my wife concerning my same-sex struggle.
I entered into vocational ministry as a way to medicate my profound longings for affirmation, acceptance, and significance. Through all of this I was acting out homosexually & developed a sexual compulsion that was totally out of control. I was absolutely powerless to stop and out of fear of rejection and condemnation I was not willing to seek help. I didn’t even know help existed. I knew if anyone learned of my dark secrets I would lose everything that gave me significance in life. This resulted in secrecy, deception, living a double life, and shame. The enemy knew if he kept me in this unhealthy place I would never recover.
As I continued my life as a minister I was living a life of duplicity. I was a pastor and a campus minister on a university campus while also acting out homosexually. I was obsessed with deep seated needs for love and acceptance. Fear of losing what significance and value I had earned over my life was crippling and kept me paralyzed. I would often cry myself to sleep at night and would beg God to either heal me or kill me.
I need to make it clear that I do not use my experience of early childhood abuse as an excuse for my behavior. I take full responsibility for what I have done. I did not choose my temptations and longings but I did choose to act out on those longings and I chose to not get help until I came to a place of absolute desperation. I believe the LORD loved me so much He orchestrated my complete exposure to bring me to a place of submission to His will for my life.
While serving as campus minister of a university I was guilty of making inappropriate sexual advances toward a student. After I was reported to university officials I was fired from my position. The university officials had made the assumption that due to my wife’s recent death I must have had a mental and emotional breakdown. They also assumed that this was an isolated experience. I was too ashamed and unhealthy to be honest about the depths of my struggle with same-sex attractions and my life of homosexual behavior. I allowed them to believe their assumptions and I did not disclose truth about my struggles. As a result I missed out on an opportunity to begin a journey of healing and recovery.
But God loved me and heard my cry and He continued pursuing me. The biblical principle is that God will expose our secrets and bring things into the light (1 Corinthians 4:5; Eph. 5:8-13). I always thought if I was ever exposed I would end my life because I thought that would be the very worst thing that could ever happen to me. But it turned out to be the very best thing that happened to me (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28) because God forced me to begin dealing with brokenness and my sinful behavior.
Through a process God orchestrated the full disclosure of a life-time of homosexual behavior on Friday night, November 10, 1995. At this time a group of people confronted me and for the very first time in my life, at age 45, I confessed out loud my life-long battle with same-sex attraction and homosexual behavior.
I hurriedly left that meeting in total humiliation, embarrassment and shame. I pulled my car into the garage and shut the door. I wrote my son a note, grabbed my pillow, went back to the garage and started the engine of my car. I went to sleep on the concrete floor fully expecting to die. I slept through the night and woke up the next morning; the car engine was still running. I wasn’t even nauseous nor did I have a headache from the fumes. I turned off the engine to my car and threw the note away and loaded a rental truck with all my belongings and moved to Nashville.
I started attending Two Rivers Baptist Church and a few weeks later I found myself in the office of the pastor, Dr. Jerry Sutton. I began sharing my story with him with great fear & trembling; I didn’t know how he would respond. This was a big moment in my life. If Dr. Sutton had turned me away I really don’t know what choices I would have made.
Dr. Sutton set up a plan for me to receive counseling through the counseling ministry of the church. The Minister of Counseling introduced me to a book called, “Lifetime Guarantee,” by Bill Gillham. This book made a profound impact on my life. It was through this book that I began to learn about two of the most important truths in life.
I also began an intense therapy program through two other therapists. One was a Christian psychologist who was assigned to me as a result of my suicide attempt. The other was a counselor affiliated with Exodus International. We continued a counseling relationship for three years.
Another spiritual marker involved an evangelist who came to Two Rivers Baptist Church, Ken Freeman. One night his sermon topic was “Whose Your Daddy.” He began the worship service by asking everyone who had never known the love of an earthly father to stand. He then prayed over us. This experience reached a deep longing in my heart. At the close of the service I found myself at the altar crying out and forgiving my father for the first time in my life. A few weeks later I visited my Father’s grave site and spoke to him as if he were there with me. This was a major step in my healing journey. The LORD was showing me that He is my Father.
The most important thing the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is that authentic Christian faith is not about law, works, flesh, or self-effort but about having a personal love relationship with God. Jesus was asked “what is the Greatest Commandment?” His answer is found in Matthew 22:36-40, “to love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. . .” These verses have become my life’s scripture.
Another vital and life-changing truth the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is to embrace and truly believe who GOD has declared me to be in Christ Jesus. This is my true identity. The enemy is out to “steal, kill and to destroy. . .” John 10:10. I believe one of his most effective tools to destroy us is to get us to a place where we believe his lies about who we are rather than believing the truth of who God says we are in Christ.
As I continue to grow in my understanding of these two fundamental truths and as I continually surrender my mind, will and emotions to Him, and as I submit to His truth and Lordship in my life I continue in a process of change, healing and freedom. I am becoming who the LORD says I am. It is an on-going “Great Adventure.” This is a critically important biblical principle that is taught in Romans 7:24-25-8:1, 1 Corinthians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 5:17, and Galatians 2:20.
I have learned that I am not a homosexual, I am not a fag, I am not a queer, and I am not gay, I’m not even ex-gay. I have learned that, in Christ Jesus, I am a righteous son of God, I am justified, I am forgiven, I am holy and blameless, I am perfect, I am accepted and acceptable, I am loved and loveable, and I am a brother to Jesus.
As a result of the redemptive work of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit in my life and the Heavenly Father’s grace and mercy I am no longer being controlled by my sexual appetites and by the lusts of my flesh. In describing my sexual brokenness I can say that what began as a raging forest fire consuming everything in its path has become nothing more than a small flicker of a flame. This is the on-going work that the LORD has done in my life and I have never known greater joy, meaning, hope and purpose.
My journey is not yet complete (which is true for all of us regardless of whatever our struggle/s might be) but I am learning that my chief purpose is “to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever” and I know that I will never be the same again!
In the Name of Yahweh Gibbor (the LORD is Our Victorious Warrior),
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org
Richard Holloman – My Story
Scripture: Matthew 22:36-40; Romans 8:1; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
It is not easy for me to share the story of my life. I still battle with shame and guilt and I sometimes allow the enemy to discourage me as I think about what I have done and as I think about all the people I have hurt. I know the LORD has forgiven me and has called me to a journey of healing, recovery and freedom.
I feel the LORD has called me to a life-time of making amends with every opportunity He allows. I want to use this as an opportunity to apologize to the Church in general and to all Southern Baptists (the denomination in which I was saved and through which I have been serving in ministry since 1969) and to every individual I have offended and hurt. As I share my story my prayer is that the LORD will work reconciliation and healing in the lives of anyone I have hurt.
I know who I truly am in Christ and in His confidence I share what the LORD is doing in my life. He orchestrated my exposure to bring about my healing and to bring glory to His name. May you find hope and redemption in Him.
My Father was an abusive, violent alcoholic. I was terrified of him and I had deep hatred towards him. He died when I was 7 years old and I rejoiced at his passing. I have no memories of my father or my mother ever holding me or verbalizing their love for me. I grew up starving for love, nurture, affirmation and acceptance.
I was physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused by my father. This was unknown to the rest of my family as far as I know. I was introduced to pornography when I was six and was molested by an older boy when I was 9 years old. I suffered from low self-esteem and was extremely shy and felt a deep sense of shame about myself but I couldn’t understand why. As a young boy I felt that no one cared about me or truly loved me. I did not relate to other boys or men and felt more comfortable around girls.
I began acting out sexually with other boys what I had experienced and learned from early childhood sexual abuse. I was only seven years old when I initiated my first sexual encounter with another boy in my neighborhood. I continued a life of acting out throughout my teen years, college years and throughout my adult life until my exposure in 1995.
I made a profession of faith in Christ when I was seventeen years old thinking that God would take away my same sex attraction and my sexual compulsion. As a Christian I became deeply depressed about my dark secrets. No one knew my secrets and I no longer felt I could deal with this darkness. When I was a student in college I made my first attempt to take my life by taking 300 aspirin. I was unconscious for two days and was deathly ill but I survived.
I married when I was twenty one years old because I didn’t want anyone to have any suspicions of my secrets. I also foolishly thought that marriage might make an impact on my longings. Though I married for the wrong reasons I truly loved my wife and tried very hard to be a good husband and father. I was not in a healthy emotional place and was diligent to keep her from ever knowing about my secrets. She was an incredible lady who expressed deep faith in God and was very loyal to me and to our son. I live with regret that I was never honest with my wife concerning my same-sex struggle.
I entered into vocational ministry as a way to medicate my profound longings for affirmation, acceptance, and significance. Through all of this I was acting out homosexually & developed a sexual compulsion that was totally out of control. I was absolutely powerless to stop and out of fear of rejection and condemnation I was not willing to seek help. I didn’t even know help existed. I knew if anyone learned of my dark secrets I would lose everything that gave me significance in life. This resulted in secrecy, deception, living a double life, and shame. The enemy knew if he kept me in this unhealthy place I would never recover.
As I continued my life as a minister I was living a life of duplicity. I was a pastor and a campus minister on a university campus while also acting out homosexually. I was obsessed with deep seated needs for love and acceptance. Fear of losing what significance and value I had earned over my life was crippling and kept me paralyzed. I would often cry myself to sleep at night and would beg God to either heal me or kill me.
I need to make it clear that I do not use my experience of early childhood abuse as an excuse for my behavior. I take full responsibility for what I have done. I did not choose my temptations and longings but I did choose to act out on those longings and I chose to not get help until I came to a place of absolute desperation. I believe the LORD loved me so much He orchestrated my complete exposure to bring me to a place of submission to His will for my life.
While serving as campus minister of a university I was guilty of making inappropriate sexual advances toward a student. After I was reported to university officials I was fired from my position. The university officials had made the assumption that due to my wife’s recent death I must have had a mental and emotional breakdown. They also assumed that this was an isolated experience. I was too ashamed and unhealthy to be honest about the depths of my struggle with same-sex attractions and my life of homosexual behavior. I allowed them to believe their assumptions and I did not disclose truth about my struggles. As a result I missed out on an opportunity to begin a journey of healing and recovery.
But God loved me and heard my cry and He continued pursuing me. The biblical principle is that God will expose our secrets and bring things into the light (1 Corinthians 4:5; Eph. 5:8-13). I always thought if I was ever exposed I would end my life because I thought that would be the very worst thing that could ever happen to me. But it turned out to be the very best thing that happened to me (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28) because God forced me to begin dealing with brokenness and my sinful behavior.
Through a process God orchestrated the full disclosure of a life-time of homosexual behavior on Friday night, November 10, 1995. At this time a group of people confronted me and for the very first time in my life, at age 45, I confessed out loud my life-long battle with same-sex attraction and homosexual behavior.
I hurriedly left that meeting in total humiliation, embarrassment and shame. I pulled my car into the garage and shut the door. I wrote my son a note, grabbed my pillow, went back to the garage and started the engine of my car. I went to sleep on the concrete floor fully expecting to die. I slept through the night and woke up the next morning; the car engine was still running. I wasn’t even nauseous nor did I have a headache from the fumes. I turned off the engine to my car and threw the note away and loaded a rental truck with all my belongings and moved to Nashville.
I started attending Two Rivers Baptist Church and a few weeks later I found myself in the office of the pastor, Dr. Jerry Sutton. I began sharing my story with him with great fear & trembling; I didn’t know how he would respond. This was a big moment in my life. If Dr. Sutton had turned me away I really don’t know what choices I would have made.
Dr. Sutton set up a plan for me to receive counseling through the counseling ministry of the church. The Minister of Counseling introduced me to a book called, “Lifetime Guarantee,” by Bill Gillham. This book made a profound impact on my life. It was through this book that I began to learn about two of the most important truths in life.
I also began an intense therapy program through two other therapists. One was a Christian psychologist who was assigned to me as a result of my suicide attempt. The other was a counselor affiliated with Exodus International. We continued a counseling relationship for three years.
Another spiritual marker involved an evangelist who came to Two Rivers Baptist Church, Ken Freeman. One night his sermon topic was “Whose Your Daddy.” He began the worship service by asking everyone who had never known the love of an earthly father to stand. He then prayed over us. This experience reached a deep longing in my heart. At the close of the service I found myself at the altar crying out and forgiving my father for the first time in my life. A few weeks later I visited my Father’s grave site and spoke to him as if he were there with me. This was a major step in my healing journey. The LORD was showing me that He is my Father.
The most important thing the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is that authentic Christian faith is not about law, works, flesh, or self-effort but about having a personal love relationship with God. Jesus was asked “what is the Greatest Commandment?” His answer is found in Matthew 22:36-40, “to love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. . .” These verses have become my life’s scripture.
Another vital and life-changing truth the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is to embrace and truly believe who GOD has declared me to be in Christ Jesus. This is my true identity. The enemy is out to “steal, kill and to destroy. . .” John 10:10. I believe one of his most effective tools to destroy us is to get us to a place where we believe his lies about who we are rather than believing the truth of who God says we are in Christ.
As I continue to grow in my understanding of these two fundamental truths and as I continually surrender my mind, will and emotions to Him, and as I submit to His truth and Lordship in my life I continue in a process of change, healing and freedom. I am becoming who the LORD says I am. It is an on-going “Great Adventure.” This is a critically important biblical principle that is taught in Romans 7:24-25-8:1, 1 Corinthians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 5:17, and Galatians 2:20.
I have learned that I am not a homosexual, I am not a fag, I am not a queer, and I am not gay, I’m not even ex-gay. I have learned that, in Christ Jesus, I am a righteous son of God, I am justified, I am forgiven, I am holy and blameless, I am perfect, I am accepted and acceptable, I am loved and loveable, and I am a brother to Jesus.
As a result of the redemptive work of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit in my life and the Heavenly Father’s grace and mercy I am no longer being controlled by my sexual appetites and by the lusts of my flesh. In describing my sexual brokenness I can say that what began as a raging forest fire consuming everything in its path has become nothing more than a small flicker of a flame. This is the on-going work that the LORD has done in my life and I have never known greater joy, meaning, hope and purpose.
My journey is not yet complete (which is true for all of us regardless of whatever our struggle/s might be) but I am learning that my chief purpose is “to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever” and I know that I will never be the same again!
In the Name of Yahweh Gibbor (the LORD is Our Victorious Warrior),
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org
Monday, July 13, 2009
Simon the Magician: The Peril of Pursuing Greatness
Some of my reading tonight included a great little article by Jon Bloom, Executive Director of DesiringGod (John Piper's ministry). I wanted to share part of it because I think it really speaks to what many pastors and church leaders may be guilty of. This would be a good warning to us as we strive to build our own little kingdoms instead of making certain that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ (1 Peter 4:11).
We must heed the Bible's warning in Acts 8: if we attempt great things so that others will see us as great, we are in grave spiritual peril.
After Stephen had been brutally stoned to death, intense persecution broke out against the Christians in Jerusalem. Many were driven off to the towns and villages of Judea and Samaria.
Few saw these horrible events as a means Jesus was using to fulfill His word: ". . .you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Sanmaria" (Acts 1:8). We don't need to lose heart when the world's hostility towards Christians increases, JESUS WILL NOT LOSE! Every time the world tries to stamp out the gospel, the gospel spreads.
Philip, Stephen's co-servant to the Hellenistic widows, headed to Samaria and preached and performed signs and wonders in a city there. Large numbers of Samaritans professed faith and were baptized. A man named Simon was one of them.
Simon was a local celebrity. He was a magician of sorts, and had mesmerized the locals with his arts. They had given him the title The Great Power of God. And he LOVED it. he basked in his reputation and fed off the admiration and respect he received.
But when Philip arrived, the game changed. The gospel Philip preached and the signs he performed were beyond Simon's abilities. Simon watched with covetous awe as the real, great power of God flowed through Philip.
Then Peter and John showed up from Jerusalem. And when they prayed, people were filled withe the Holy Spirit. This drew even more crowds. Everyone was talking about them. Everyone was mesmerized by them.
No one was mesmerized by Simon anymore. He was a has-been, a dkiminishing star. And like many who have once experienced the euphoric drug of other people's adoration, he wanted that rush again. If he could somehow get this Jesus power, then once again he could be great. He was willing to pay a high price for that drug.
So at a discreet moment, he approached Peter and John with a proposition. If they would let him in on the secret they possessed, if they would share their power with him, a small fortune in silver would be theirs and no one would ever know.
Peter's eyes seemed to burn right into Simon's heart. And then Peter's words seemed to slice him open: "May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the LORD that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity (Acts 8:20-23).
Peter's words to Simon were not merely harsh. They were full of mercy. The love of self-glory is an extremely dangerous cancer of the soul and is spiritually fata if not addressed. This cancer requires a straightforward, serious diagnosis.
This account is in the Bible so that we will remember that God's power is not a commodity tlo be traded. It's not a means for us to pursue our own greatness or wealth.
We can all relate to Simon. We are all tempted to pursue our own glory, even in the work of the kingdom. It was a major driving force in my life for many years as I sought affirmation and acceptance.
When we recognize that familiar craving we need to deal severely with it. We must confess confess it (often to others, not just God), repent, and resist. Because if left alone, it can develop into a spiritual cancer that can bind us to real glory, and may ultimatley kill us.
Let us take Peter's advice and do all that we do "by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 4:11). God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
In The Name of the One and Only True and Living God,
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
We must heed the Bible's warning in Acts 8: if we attempt great things so that others will see us as great, we are in grave spiritual peril.
After Stephen had been brutally stoned to death, intense persecution broke out against the Christians in Jerusalem. Many were driven off to the towns and villages of Judea and Samaria.
Few saw these horrible events as a means Jesus was using to fulfill His word: ". . .you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Sanmaria" (Acts 1:8). We don't need to lose heart when the world's hostility towards Christians increases, JESUS WILL NOT LOSE! Every time the world tries to stamp out the gospel, the gospel spreads.
Philip, Stephen's co-servant to the Hellenistic widows, headed to Samaria and preached and performed signs and wonders in a city there. Large numbers of Samaritans professed faith and were baptized. A man named Simon was one of them.
Simon was a local celebrity. He was a magician of sorts, and had mesmerized the locals with his arts. They had given him the title The Great Power of God. And he LOVED it. he basked in his reputation and fed off the admiration and respect he received.
But when Philip arrived, the game changed. The gospel Philip preached and the signs he performed were beyond Simon's abilities. Simon watched with covetous awe as the real, great power of God flowed through Philip.
Then Peter and John showed up from Jerusalem. And when they prayed, people were filled withe the Holy Spirit. This drew even more crowds. Everyone was talking about them. Everyone was mesmerized by them.
No one was mesmerized by Simon anymore. He was a has-been, a dkiminishing star. And like many who have once experienced the euphoric drug of other people's adoration, he wanted that rush again. If he could somehow get this Jesus power, then once again he could be great. He was willing to pay a high price for that drug.
So at a discreet moment, he approached Peter and John with a proposition. If they would let him in on the secret they possessed, if they would share their power with him, a small fortune in silver would be theirs and no one would ever know.
Peter's eyes seemed to burn right into Simon's heart. And then Peter's words seemed to slice him open: "May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the LORD that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity (Acts 8:20-23).
Peter's words to Simon were not merely harsh. They were full of mercy. The love of self-glory is an extremely dangerous cancer of the soul and is spiritually fata if not addressed. This cancer requires a straightforward, serious diagnosis.
This account is in the Bible so that we will remember that God's power is not a commodity tlo be traded. It's not a means for us to pursue our own greatness or wealth.
We can all relate to Simon. We are all tempted to pursue our own glory, even in the work of the kingdom. It was a major driving force in my life for many years as I sought affirmation and acceptance.
When we recognize that familiar craving we need to deal severely with it. We must confess confess it (often to others, not just God), repent, and resist. Because if left alone, it can develop into a spiritual cancer that can bind us to real glory, and may ultimatley kill us.
Let us take Peter's advice and do all that we do "by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 4:11). God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
In The Name of the One and Only True and Living God,
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Monday, June 22, 2009
A Young Man's Battle With Homosexuality and Aids
The following is a life story of a young man who has been involved in the Sight Ministry in Nashville, TN. For more information contact:
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nasvhille, TN 37214
615-509-0782
ricahrd@thesightministry.org
“From Lust to Divine Love and a Little of the In Between and the Now...”
My name is Bradley. I am 26 years old and I come from a small town in West Tennessee where I was raised in a very strict Christian home. I always knew of the love of God from what I read in my Bible and from what I heard every Wednesday and Sunday in church. . .I’m sure many of you had similar upbringings. It has taken me until now to appreciate this gift as I never seemed to grasp the concept of God’s love and only half believed the teachings I was so readily given.
Early on I found myself needy and it seemed I had a hole in my soul. One would think with how regularly I attended church and was part of the community I would have most certainly found the one and only thing that can fill this void. But, sadly, I never found it during this season of my life. As I grew older I began realizing that there was something different about me. Something inside me told me it was wrong and I felt a deep sense of shame. I didn’t understand where it came from nor did I even know what it was inside me, but I knew it was something strong. I cried many nights and prayed for God to change me. Eventually the truth of what I was becoming was revealed when I began to act out in different ways from other teenagers and I began having my first sexual relations with other boys and men and having false amorous feelings for them. I confused lust with love for a very long time because even though I didn’t realize it I had not allowed the love of God to capture me.
I was a hardheaded and rebellious teenager during the 90’s. I can remember MTV strongly encouraging all homosexuals to come out of the closet. . .and so I came out when I was only 15 years old. The backlash from my family and my church was severe. A deacon’s wife even asked me to not come back to church. Even though I self-created this I felt I was being persecuted and attacked so I retaliated. I turned my back against God and I became a practitioner of witch craft and never wanted to hear the word God or Christ again. My life got crazier from that point on.
I could no longer get along with my parents and I left for college. I was very arrogant and flamboyant and I dared someone to look at me in a wrong way. I was always angry and hateful things continually spewed from my mouth. I was suspended from college. I spent my time trolling the gay bars looking for men. Eventually I fell into drugs.
Before long I was a bitter and lonely cocaine addict. It was then that I thought I got my big break. A “modeling” scout from California filled my head with dreams of being a “model.” I ended up becoming a star alright but I never dreamed it would be a porn star. I ended up getting involved in the sex industry. Before I knew it I was in five different films and my face was plastered on the internet. At the time I felt good and my ego was greatly inflated by what I was doing. Until I came home.
At home people treated me differently and I fell into a deep state of depression. I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded. When I awoke the first words out of my mouth were curses against God for not allowing me to die.
Soon after that I tested positive for HIV. I hit an even deeper state of depression. I felt life was over. My emotions were so numb I couldn’t even cry. Without God to guide me I did the only thing I knew to do. I ran to hide in the gay underworld. I spent my nights and days drinking heavily, doing large amounts of cocaine, popping pills and engaging in wild and anonymous sex with so many partners I have no way of counting.
Eventually, I began noticing a strange pull deep inside of my heart from somewhere. I had a sense that this hole in my heart could be filled but I ignored it and I continued to indulge in all of the tools of my flesh since that was all I knew. My life belonged to the darkness and that’s where I stayed for seven years.
Then one day I awoke and found myself in a blood soaked bed. The blood was from my own face. I walked to the mirror and looked at my reflection and was so shocked at what I saw I cried out in horror. I was covered in blood. My eyes were sunken in and bloodshot and my frail 112 lb body looked like a living skeleton. At that moment I dropped to my knees in tears and I prayed and I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life for deliverance from this self imposed hell in which I had become lost.
God answered! He simply said, “Wait.” I became strangely still and then I felt calmness come over me. The LORD spoke and said, “Call your Mother now, she knows your suffering. . . ask for help.” So I called my Mother. We were not on good terms because I had mistreated my family so horribly with my own selfishness and headstrong desire to live my lifestyle as I saw fit. I was living a self-absorbed life of hedonism and debauchery. When my Mother answered the phone she was surprisingly warm and told me she knew that I needed help but she was waiting for my call.
And I did get help. I was taken to a Christian-based rehab facility in Nashville where I not only dealt with my addiction but I dealt with my own demons and rebuilt my relationship with God. For the first time in my life He filled me with love, empathy, sympathy and most importantly I felt I belonged.
I left the rehab facility with Christ as my Savior and my very best friend Who would be faithful to guide me. I did not relapse into that hedonistic lifestyle. However, I will be honest and tell you that I continued to struggle with homosexual temptations and experienced failures along the journey. I am no longer being controlled by my temptations and there is a voice inside of me that reminds me of the futility of embracing such a dark lifestyle. For me it was full of misery, anger, stress, sickness, and addiction. Those things always scare me and bring me to a place where I cry out to the LORD for strength and for truth. I may always struggle with this at some level but I know one thing, God loves me wholeheartedly and will be there with me during every struggle.
Now that I’ve shared with you my struggles with sin and the transition out of it, I want to share some very good news. I have been HIV positive since I was 18 years old. I am currently on no medications. I have fallen into AIDS status twice in my life and my body miraculously healed and fought off the infection each time. According to what doctors are telling me this is not the norm. They are interested in studying my blood for genetic markers to see where this amazing ability my blood seems to have to fight the disease comes from. I don’t need their answer to know this, it’s clear to me. . . God has done this for me and this is only one of the great miracles He has brought to my life and I thank Him and praise Him often for it.
I pray my story may touch one life and bring encouragement to who ever might read what the LORD has done in me.
Trusting Him,
Bradley
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nasvhille, TN 37214
615-509-0782
ricahrd@thesightministry.org
“From Lust to Divine Love and a Little of the In Between and the Now...”
My name is Bradley. I am 26 years old and I come from a small town in West Tennessee where I was raised in a very strict Christian home. I always knew of the love of God from what I read in my Bible and from what I heard every Wednesday and Sunday in church. . .I’m sure many of you had similar upbringings. It has taken me until now to appreciate this gift as I never seemed to grasp the concept of God’s love and only half believed the teachings I was so readily given.
Early on I found myself needy and it seemed I had a hole in my soul. One would think with how regularly I attended church and was part of the community I would have most certainly found the one and only thing that can fill this void. But, sadly, I never found it during this season of my life. As I grew older I began realizing that there was something different about me. Something inside me told me it was wrong and I felt a deep sense of shame. I didn’t understand where it came from nor did I even know what it was inside me, but I knew it was something strong. I cried many nights and prayed for God to change me. Eventually the truth of what I was becoming was revealed when I began to act out in different ways from other teenagers and I began having my first sexual relations with other boys and men and having false amorous feelings for them. I confused lust with love for a very long time because even though I didn’t realize it I had not allowed the love of God to capture me.
I was a hardheaded and rebellious teenager during the 90’s. I can remember MTV strongly encouraging all homosexuals to come out of the closet. . .and so I came out when I was only 15 years old. The backlash from my family and my church was severe. A deacon’s wife even asked me to not come back to church. Even though I self-created this I felt I was being persecuted and attacked so I retaliated. I turned my back against God and I became a practitioner of witch craft and never wanted to hear the word God or Christ again. My life got crazier from that point on.
I could no longer get along with my parents and I left for college. I was very arrogant and flamboyant and I dared someone to look at me in a wrong way. I was always angry and hateful things continually spewed from my mouth. I was suspended from college. I spent my time trolling the gay bars looking for men. Eventually I fell into drugs.
Before long I was a bitter and lonely cocaine addict. It was then that I thought I got my big break. A “modeling” scout from California filled my head with dreams of being a “model.” I ended up becoming a star alright but I never dreamed it would be a porn star. I ended up getting involved in the sex industry. Before I knew it I was in five different films and my face was plastered on the internet. At the time I felt good and my ego was greatly inflated by what I was doing. Until I came home.
At home people treated me differently and I fell into a deep state of depression. I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded. When I awoke the first words out of my mouth were curses against God for not allowing me to die.
Soon after that I tested positive for HIV. I hit an even deeper state of depression. I felt life was over. My emotions were so numb I couldn’t even cry. Without God to guide me I did the only thing I knew to do. I ran to hide in the gay underworld. I spent my nights and days drinking heavily, doing large amounts of cocaine, popping pills and engaging in wild and anonymous sex with so many partners I have no way of counting.
Eventually, I began noticing a strange pull deep inside of my heart from somewhere. I had a sense that this hole in my heart could be filled but I ignored it and I continued to indulge in all of the tools of my flesh since that was all I knew. My life belonged to the darkness and that’s where I stayed for seven years.
Then one day I awoke and found myself in a blood soaked bed. The blood was from my own face. I walked to the mirror and looked at my reflection and was so shocked at what I saw I cried out in horror. I was covered in blood. My eyes were sunken in and bloodshot and my frail 112 lb body looked like a living skeleton. At that moment I dropped to my knees in tears and I prayed and I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life for deliverance from this self imposed hell in which I had become lost.
God answered! He simply said, “Wait.” I became strangely still and then I felt calmness come over me. The LORD spoke and said, “Call your Mother now, she knows your suffering. . . ask for help.” So I called my Mother. We were not on good terms because I had mistreated my family so horribly with my own selfishness and headstrong desire to live my lifestyle as I saw fit. I was living a self-absorbed life of hedonism and debauchery. When my Mother answered the phone she was surprisingly warm and told me she knew that I needed help but she was waiting for my call.
And I did get help. I was taken to a Christian-based rehab facility in Nashville where I not only dealt with my addiction but I dealt with my own demons and rebuilt my relationship with God. For the first time in my life He filled me with love, empathy, sympathy and most importantly I felt I belonged.
I left the rehab facility with Christ as my Savior and my very best friend Who would be faithful to guide me. I did not relapse into that hedonistic lifestyle. However, I will be honest and tell you that I continued to struggle with homosexual temptations and experienced failures along the journey. I am no longer being controlled by my temptations and there is a voice inside of me that reminds me of the futility of embracing such a dark lifestyle. For me it was full of misery, anger, stress, sickness, and addiction. Those things always scare me and bring me to a place where I cry out to the LORD for strength and for truth. I may always struggle with this at some level but I know one thing, God loves me wholeheartedly and will be there with me during every struggle.
Now that I’ve shared with you my struggles with sin and the transition out of it, I want to share some very good news. I have been HIV positive since I was 18 years old. I am currently on no medications. I have fallen into AIDS status twice in my life and my body miraculously healed and fought off the infection each time. According to what doctors are telling me this is not the norm. They are interested in studying my blood for genetic markers to see where this amazing ability my blood seems to have to fight the disease comes from. I don’t need their answer to know this, it’s clear to me. . . God has done this for me and this is only one of the great miracles He has brought to my life and I thank Him and praise Him often for it.
I pray my story may touch one life and bring encouragement to who ever might read what the LORD has done in me.
Trusting Him,
Bradley
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