I thought this was an excellent article to share on this day-after-Christmas Day:

Hopeful Post-Christmas Melancholy

Posted: 26 Dec 2009 02:22 AM PST

(Author: Jon Bloom)

Each year Christmas night finds members of my family feeling some melancholy. After weeks of anticipation, the Christmas celebrations have flashed by us and are suddenly gone. And we're left standing, watching the Christmas taillights and music fade into the night.

But it's possible that this moment of melancholy may be the best teaching moment of the whole season. Because as long as the beautiful gifts remain unopened around the tree and the events are still ahead of us, they can appear to be the hope we are waiting for. But when the tree is empty and events are past, we realize we are longing for a lasting hope.

So last night, as Pam and I tucked our kids into bed, we talked about a few things with them:

Gifts and events can't fill the soul. God gives us such things to enjoy. They are expressions of his generosity as well as ours, but gifts and celebrations themselves are not designed to satisfy. They're designed to point us to the Giver. Gifts are like sunbeams. We are not meant to love sunbeams but the Sun.

Putting our hope in gifts will leave us empty. Many people live their lives looking for the right sunbeam to make them happy. But if we depend on anything in the world to satisfy our soul's deepest desire, it will eventually leave us with that post-Christmas soul-ache. We will ask, "Is that all?" because we know deep down that's not all there is. We are designed to treasure a Person, not his things.

It is more blessed to give than receive. What kind of happiness this Christmas felt richer, getting the presents that you wanted or making someone else happy with something that you gave to them? Receiving is a blessing, but Jesus is right—giving is a greater blessing. A greedy soul lives in a small, lonely world. A generous soul lives in a wide world of love.

It's just like God to let the glitter and flash of the celebrations (even in his honor) to pass and then to come to us in the quiet, even melancholic void they leave. Because often that's when we are most likely to understand the hope he intends for us to have at Christmas.

(Originally posted 12/26/07)

A "Safe" Church

The following article was written by a new friend I recently met named Aarron Swartz. His response to the Sight Ministry is much different from what I have often received from typical pastors and typical churches (though there have been some positive exceptions). Aarron is a church planter in East Nashville, TN, and pastors Restoration Church. Please read the article and rejoice with me at what the LORD is doing.

A “Safe” Church
Can I be honest? Of course I can, I am writing this Lewis and I just got back from an associational meeting with other Southern Baptist church planters and I struggled with whether or not I wanted to go. Over the years, I have had bad experiences with associational meetings for various reasons ranging from boredom to politics. Frankly, I have been embarrassed at some of the petty ego issues and manipulative junk I have seen destroy SBC churches over the years. However, I am happy to say that I walked away from today’s meeting feeling hopeful about the future of SBC church planting and especially the leadership of the NBA (not the basketball league.)

In particular I met a man named Richard who has started a ministry for those coming out of a homosexual lifestyle. Richard was a pastor when he himself admitted to his own struggle with homosexuality. He was embraced by his pastor with a redemptive attitude but has seen many who have received only hatred. As we talked, we shared our frustration with the way the homosexual community has been treated and I shared with him the burden God has laid on my heart for them. In the midst of political battles and ignorance, a whole group of human beings have been made out to be something they are not. Let me state this clearly, I believe God has called His church to love all people with the mercy we ourselves have received. Some of us have fallen short by our greed, others by our pride, and still others by sexual sin, but make no mistake ALL have fallen short. ALL need Jesus.

Richard proceeded to tell me that he is looking for “Safe” churches for those struggling with homosexuality. These are churches that will embrace hurting people without judgmental attitudes and condemnation. I almost jumped out of my seat as I said to him “We are that safe church!” ”Please, send these struggling people our way!!!” I cannot tell you how badly I want Restoration church to be a group of people that actively seek out hurting people with the grace of Jesus Christ.

Along with Richard’s story and mission, I heard a planter talk about his family’s burden for muslims in Nashville and all over the world. I listened to a man moved by the plight of the homeless who is mentoring homeless missionaries. I heard Rusty Summerall from the NBA talk about the hurts that the “Church” has caused over the years and his heart to see that change. I saw humble men and women who just wanted to show others the love of Christ. Lewis and I were both very encouraged by what God is doing. Our prayer is that more and more churches will become “safe” churches. I pray that we will be known as a church who loves homosexuals and everyone else for that matter!

Bring it,
Aarron

Callifornia, Gays and You

Dear Sight Ministry Partners:

Please, when you read the following article, allow the Holy Spirit to produce in you a spirit of authentic love and compassion toward the family of Harvey Milk rather than being judgmental and condemning. I would ask that you pray for Gov. Schwarzenegger and do not allow your flesh to enter into anger and hatred. It is important that as followers of Jesus that we always die to our flesh and submit to the Holy Spirit. Anger, condemnation, judgmentalism, and hatred are not included in the characteristics of Spiritual fruit listed in Galatians 5:22-23.

There are many people who have been blinded by the true enemy concerning same-sex attraction issues. This is why the LORD raised up the SIGHT MINISTRY. The LORD has called us to follow His example in “preaching the gospel to the poor, proclaiming release to the captives, and recovery of SIGHT to the blind” and “to set free those who are downtrodden” (Luke 4:18).

I wanted to share this article with you so that, primarily, you would be aware of what is going on in our culture so you can pray for a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit in the Church. It is not our calling to enter into the political arena and take up the fight against the gay movement, but rather, it is our calling to bring glory and honor to the name that is above all names and to focus on the fact that we find ultimate delight and joy in Who God is and that we point others to Him Who alone can bring lasting fulfillment and life that nothing in this world can offer including same-sex expressions of love and sex.

An important dynamic of why our culture is at this place is because an overwhelming number of believers have not experienced true redemption that resonates from a personal love relationship with our God, Creator & Father in Heaven. The day of “accepting Jesus as our Savior so that when we die we will go to Heaven” is over. That is only a part of redemption but it is not the whole story. Redemption certainly includes addressing our eternal destiny but it also addresses life now in this broken and fallen world where we are searching for the meaning and purpose of life. We have the answer but we have not always lived as though we believe it. We really don’t seem all that different from anyone else in the world. The world is not at all interested in seeing a local congregation or Christian leaders build their own little kingdom. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans and singing rock’n roll on Sunday morning does not make one necessarily culturally relevant. Submitting our self-centeredness to the Holy Spirit who then lives out the radical life and truth of Jesus through us where ever we are and where ever we go truly connects with culture. That is being culturally relevant indeed! Just simply read the words of Jesus and you will be reminded of how radical His teaching and call to life really is.

John Piper says it well: “The chief purpose of man is to glorify God BY enjoying Him forever” and also, “God is most glorified in us when we are MOST satisfied in Him.”

Don’t forget to check out the article below then pay attention to how you respond in your heart towards those individuals mentioned in the article.

Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nasvhille, TN 37214
615-509-0782
www.thesightministry.org
"How can we dare to be so absolutely unbelieving when God totally surrounds us?" - Oswald Chambers


Calif. students to learn about gay pioneer
By: Michael Foust
Original article can be found here, http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?Id=31452.

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (BP)--Students in many of California's public schools next year will be learning about homosexual pioneer Harvey Milk under a bill signed into law Sunday by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger that commemorates the life of the late politician and makes May 22 "Harvey Milk Day."

Schwarzenegger signed the bill, S.B. 572, on the last possible day he could, frustrating conservatives who had lobbied the Republican governor to veto it. Schwarzenegger vetoed an almost identical bill last year but was under more pressure to sign it in light of a movie about Milk and after President Obama awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom posthumously to Milk, the nation's first openly homosexual person elected to public office. Milk was a San Francisco city supervisor who was assassinated in 1978 by another supervisor.

Although observation of Harvey Milk Day is optional, many schools and teachers in the left-leaning state no doubt will take advantage of the opportunity. The text of the new law says "all public schools and educational institutions are encouraged to observe" the day.

The law further says it would be appropriate to have "exercises remembering the life of Harvey Milk, recognizing his accomplishments, and familiarizing pupils with the contributions he made to this state." The law commemorates Milk with what the state calendar calls a day of "significance." The only other such days are the Day of the Teacher (second Wednesday of May), John Muir Day (April 21) and California Poppy Day (April 6). May 22 is Milk's birthday.

Schwarzenegger also signed a bill, S.B. 54, that allows the state to recognize "gay marriages" from other states if they were performed during the nearly five months it was legal in 2008.

The Harvey Milk bill, in fact, could impact any future debate about "gay marriage" legalization in California. Public schools -- and what is and is not taught in them -- were at the forefront of last year's campaign to pass Proposition 8, the constitutional amendment that prohibited the redefinition of marriage.

Ron Prentice, the executive director of ProtectMarriage.com, which promoted Prop 8, sent an e-mail to supporters Monday telling constituents, "You may remember that during the Prop 8 campaign those pushing for homosexual marriage proclaimed that school children would not be forced to learn about homosexuality and same-sex marriage. But now, every school district in California is encouraged to honor Harvey Milk specifically for his sexual orientation."

Prentice added, "Governor Schwarzenegger, instead of acting on behalf of children and the vast majority of parents who want their children protected from indoctrination in the public schools, has instead folded his tent to the pressures of special-interest."

Schwarzenegger did not issue a signing statement, although spokesman Aaron McLear told the Associated Press that Milk "has become much more of a symbol of the gay community than he was a year ago because of those things [the movie and the White House recognition]. That made the difference from last year: he's really come to symbolize the gay community in California."

Randy Thomasson, an opponent of the law and the president of SaveCalifornia.com, had said Milk's sexual escapades made him unfit to be pushed as a role model. Thomasson's press release quoted from "The Mayor of Castro Street," a popular biography about Milk. Milk was 48 when he died but always had a desire for teen boys and men in their early 20s, the book says. He also advocated having multiple partners, it says.

Although Schwarzenegger pleased conservatives in past years by twice vetoing bills that would legalize "gay marriage," he now supports "gay marriage." He opposed Prop 8 and has done little in the past year that social conservatives support.
--30--
Michael Foust is an assistant editor of Baptist Press.

Copyright (c) 2009 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press. Visit www.bpnews.net. BP News -- witness the difference! Covering the critical issues that shape your life, work and ministry. BP News is a ministry of Baptist Press, the daily news service of Southern Baptists.

The Truth About Exodus Ministries

The following article does a good job setting the record straight concerning the mission, beliefs, and methods of Exodus International ministries. I hope you will read the article. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you need assistance. Phone: 615-509-0782. Email: richard@thesightministry.org

October 7, 2009 by Julie Neils
Filed under Culture, Educate, Featured, Homosexuality, Pop Culture, Post-gay, Youth & Young Adults

I’m always curious to see what people are saying about Exodus and as the PR person, I’m pretty sure there’s something in my job description about that too. I’ve heard some winners in the years I’ve spent working on and around this subject. Hmm . let’s see. According to some, Exodus believes in inhumane psychiatry that harkens back to the Dark Ages. Others say we peddle nonsensical, mind-altering remedies to unsuspecting prey that erases any and all attractions. Still others’ seem to think we hold mysterious camps with all the security measures of the FBI training facility in Quantico – just in case anyone would think of escaping. Of course, none of that is remotely true and all of it is wholly laughable, but it is amazing how hearsay begats rumors and rumors begat hard news. So, here’s the 411 on the top myths about Exodus International to set the record straight (no pun intended):

THE CURE . . . and I don’t mean the 80’s band:

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the words, “Exodus International” and “religious group that claims to cure gays” in a sentence I’d be rich . . . and in Tahiti right now. Seriously, though, the Bible teaches that the only form of sexual expression God intended for His creation is between a man and woman married to one another. All else, heterosexual or homosexual, falls outside of His plan and constitutes as sin. That said, not many wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. As complex human beings, sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those, but as sexual beings, we all make decisions about how to express ourselves. For those who consider the Bible to be life-giving truth, homosexual attractions and the desire to act on them are at odds with the desire to live a life that reflects the Christian faith and often results in moral tension. We know, though, that pursuing a relationship with God over these attractions, won’t always make the feelings go away. They may stay the same, lessen or possibly shift towards the opposite sex. That’s not the point. The point is to pursue a life beyond attractions, feelings and societal labels that is guided and defined by Jesus Christ and truth of Scripture. And for the record, living with conflicted desires is not the same as living a life dominated by them! So, to sum up, we don’t believe there is a “cure” for homosexuality, adultery, arrogance, gossip or any other sin. There is, however, Jesus who paid the price for it all when He died on the cross. Then there is the daily, sometimes moment-by-moment, decision to live a life congruent with His teaching.

AVERSION, I mean CONVERSION THERAPY:

“So, how does it work, conversion therapy, I mean?” is an all-too-common question most Exodus staffers are asked on a routine basis. Truthfully, most of us don’t know. Furthermore, most of us don’t know anyone who has actually undergone this type of therapy. It’s only used by a handful of professionals, but for some reason, folks seem to think that it’s the primary function of Exodus. It’s not. “Reparative or conversion therapy” is a counseling method used in addressing unwanted same-sex attraction to repair the damage of past relationships that may have contributed to its initial development. In general, we think every professional and their client ought to be able to determine the methods and options most helpful in accomplishing their joint goals, including this one, but it isn’t the sole approach used, nor is it essential. That’s because the decision to leave a gay identity behind isn’t necessarily about one method, one program, one counseling approach our even about becoming straight. It’s about pursuing a Christ-centered identity rooted in God’s definition of us as individuals.

U.S.S. PRAY THE GAY AWAY:

Prayer is certainly an important part of a Christian’s life, but it’s not a magic formula. If you find one let us know. J This mantra ignorantly dismisses the complicated issues that often underlie attractions and deeper still – identity. As I said before, we don’t think many, if any, wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. Sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those. As complex individuals, we must also take into account the way others hurt us and the way we hurt ourselves. For many who contact Exodus, hurt has become a familiar, but unwelcome fixture in life. Talking to God about these things is part of a dynamic relationship with Him, but it doesn’t always change the fact that dealing with it is just plain hard work.

CAMP GAYBEGONE:

As for those mysterious gay-to-straight “boot camps,” they don’t exist. And neither do any other Exodus camps – mosquito infested or otherwise. We do have an annual conference and some local ones too – held at churches, conference centers and Christian college campuses -just like other Christian conferences, though I’ll freely admit that the content is eye-poppingly unlike most other Christian conferences. We aren’t interested in bludgeoning others with our big black Bibles or our views. Truth be told, we can barely keep up with the 300,000 calls and e-mails we get every year from those who do want our input.

Exodus International doesn’t exist to make gay people straight, promote a formula for “success,” to make money or even to pass legislation. We exist to help others live a life that reflects the Christian faith. We’ve found that the opposite of homosexuality is most certainly not heterosexuality. It is holiness. It is loving God and being loved by Him. It is accepting His identity for us, instead of everyone else’s. But those things don’t often make headlines and I suspect that, unfortunately, we’ll continue to see more crazy things out there churning around in the rumor mill.

Middle School Youth More Open to Coming Out Sooner, Article Reports
October 1, 2009 by Randy Thomas
Filed under Bi-sexuality, Educate, Featured, Gay, Homosexuality, Lesbian, Pop Culture, Post-gay, Schools, Sexuality, Youth & Young Adults
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Middle School Youth More Open to Coming Out Sooner, Article Reports

Written by: Chris Stump | September 29th, 2009 – Cross-posted at Exodus Youth.

An article was recently published in The New York Times reporting that middle school youth are more open to coming out earlier. It’s a rather lengthy article focusing on several middle school teens who have come out in their schools and to their families. It’s interesting to see how the climate has changed in middle schools even since I was there a little over ten years ago. Being gay was still somewhat taboo. It was only used as a humiliating term. You were labeled, but never did you claim that identity. I remember middle school being a very confusing time period for me and everyone else. In my day (which wasn’t too long ago), little identity clusters started to form in middle school. You had the “cool” kids, you had the “preppy” kids, and there were the nerds, and the unpopulars. Everyone was looking for an identity – wanting to fit in…somewhere.

Something that concerns me about what this article reports is all the kids who come out at twelve and thirteen years of age are embracing an identity based on their feelings. I don’t know about you, but I know when I was a middle schooler, my feelings were all over the place. They weren’t a trusted source for my identity. But that is what these youth are going by – how they feel towards others of the same-sex. They label and trap themselves in a sexual identity. Being gay becomes who they are entirely.

The article discusses how the climate has changed over the years, making it “easier” for middle school youth to come out. Popular culture has most certainly paved the way towards affirmation and acceptance with positive portrayals of gays and lesbians. But does that make it ok? I believe it pushes youth to an even greater identity crisis, urging them to accept an identity they may not even fully understand at the age of 11 or 12. With the glamorizing of bisexuality in the media with pop songs such as Katy Perry’s infamous “I Kissed a Girl”, it has become trendy and even posh for girls to be bisexual. Many of the students in the article mention a larger population of bisexual girls who seem to become more popular after they’ve divulged their sexual preference.

When there is positive reinforcement by peers, it’s hard not to embrace a label. Instead of encouraging the expression of their sexuality, we need to be concerned with the motivation of girls who claim to be bisexual. The media is saying it’s cool and hot. But it really only musters up more gender confusion.

Another thing that stuck out to me was when the author mentioned fluidity in sexuality. So many in the secular world agree with the idea that sexuality is a fluid thing. But how is it so hard to embrace the idea of people moving from a homosexual identity to a post-homosexual identity? That’s just another “expression” of sexuality being fluid. But, yet, it is scorned and ridiculed for being absurd.

Why is popular culture the most influential medium on youth today? It certainly does not have any moral compass. The message of pop culture is “be who you want to be/you are how you feel/do what you want”. Where it seems from this article that these middle school youth have found clarity in who they are, I believe it has only brought more confusion. Middle School could be described in my life by this one word: chaos. Feelings are swirling around, hormones are going haywire, and we’re desperately looking for an identity. This is the time in a young person’s life to not jump to any conclusions, and embrace an identity they don’t even quite understand. We are more than just our feelings. We are more than just who we are attracted to.

Instead of celebrating the earlier embrace of a gay identity, we need to be cautious and concerned. Embracing an identity based on feelings as an 11-13 year old child, whose brain is still developing and hormones are raging, is jumping the gun. Pop culture is steering the trends in our youth today, without a moral compass. Are we going to allow pop culture to be the only wisdom our youth hear?

Sight Ministry INSight Newsletter (Part A: Update)

Sight Ministry News
August 2009

Financial Blessings:
Budget Total for 2009
(Includes staffing and total operating expenses)........$60,000
Monthly Total Required to Meet Budget...................$ 5,000

Current Contribution Patterns for 2009:
January – 9 Individuals Giving.......$1,675 ($3,325)
February – 21 Individuals Giving.....$2,038 ($2,962)
March – 15 Individuals Giving........$2,200 ($2,800)
April – 21 Individuals Giving........$4,372 ($628)
May – 27 Individuals Giving..........$6,565
June – 25 Individuals Giving.........$5,004
July – 24 Individuals Giving.........$4,768 ($232)

Join Us in Prayer As We Seek Where the LORD Is Working
+PRAISE for the way the LORD is providing for the needs of the Sight Ministry.
+PRAISE the LORD for an incredible Exodus Conference and for speaking through my workshop.
+PRAY as we prepare to attend the Love Won Out Conference to be held in Birmingham, AL, November 7. We will have an exhibit
+PRAY for the LORD to show you who He would have you invite to support us.
+PRAY for wisdom as the LORD continues to open eyes of individuals who struggle with same-sex attraction issues and for their family members.
+PRAY for wisdom to minister to individuals and their families, to write articles, to engage churches, and to conduct workshops.
+PRAY For direction in developing a new website.
+PRAY for direction in networking with churches (Exodus Church Network).
+PRAY for participants as we take a summer break from our support groups and as we seek the LORD’s direction for our Fall Semester.
+PRAY for individuals who are just beginning their journey of healing and recovery through one-on-one sessions (there are several).
+PRAY for Martie Rader as she leads our ministry to women.
+PRAY for Tonya Green as she leads our ministry to wives.
+PRAY for Shayne & Christi Gilpin as they lead our Family & Friends ministry.
+PRAY for Allen Hildreth as he leads our branch ministry in Knoxville, TN (Acts12).
+PRAY for the Board of Directors as they seek the LORD’s leading: Teresa Sullivan, Chair, Joseph Simpson, Treasurer, David Adcock, Leigh Ann Dans, and Ruse Tucker.
+PRAY as I serve as the Exodus Southern Gulf Regional Representative.

If you sense the LORD calling you to join Him in what He is doing through The Sight Ministry please use the enclosed envelopes to send us your contributions or you may contact our treasurer, Joseph Simpson: treasurer@thesightministry.org. My email: richard@thesightministry.org & phone: 615-509-0782. Feel free to contact me anytime.

Sight Ministry INSight Newsletter (Part B: My Testimony)

Preface: The following article will be new information for some of you and for others there will be some information you may not be aware of. My life is an on-going process of healing, recovery, reconciliation and making amends with every opportunity the LORD gives me. Please feel free to contact me (see contact information following the article) and/or reply to this blog article. I would also be happy to set up a meeting with you if you are interested. May the LORD receive all honor and glory.

Richard Holloman – My Story
Scripture: Matthew 22:36-40; Romans 8:1; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

It is not easy for me to share the story of my life. I still battle with shame and guilt and I sometimes allow the enemy to discourage me as I think about what I have done and as I think about all the people I have hurt. I know the LORD has forgiven me and has called me to a journey of healing, recovery and freedom.

I feel the LORD has called me to a life-time of making amends with every opportunity He allows. I want to use this as an opportunity to apologize to the Church in general and to all Southern Baptists (the denomination in which I was saved and through which I have been serving in ministry since 1969) and to every individual I have offended and hurt. As I share my story my prayer is that the LORD will work reconciliation and healing in the lives of anyone I have hurt.

I know who I truly am in Christ and in His confidence I share what the LORD is doing in my life. He orchestrated my exposure to bring about my healing and to bring glory to His name. May you find hope and redemption in Him.

My Father was an abusive, violent alcoholic. I was terrified of him and I had deep hatred towards him. He died when I was 7 years old and I rejoiced at his passing. I have no memories of my father or my mother ever holding me or verbalizing their love for me. I grew up starving for love, nurture, affirmation and acceptance.

I was physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused by my father. This was unknown to the rest of my family as far as I know. I was introduced to pornography when I was six and was molested by an older boy when I was 9 years old. I suffered from low self-esteem and was extremely shy and felt a deep sense of shame about myself but I couldn’t understand why. As a young boy I felt that no one cared about me or truly loved me. I did not relate to other boys or men and felt more comfortable around girls.

I began acting out sexually with other boys what I had experienced and learned from early childhood sexual abuse. I was only seven years old when I initiated my first sexual encounter with another boy in my neighborhood. I continued a life of acting out throughout my teen years, college years and throughout my adult life until my exposure in 1995.

I made a profession of faith in Christ when I was seventeen years old thinking that God would take away my same sex attraction and my sexual compulsion. As a Christian I became deeply depressed about my dark secrets. No one knew my secrets and I no longer felt I could deal with this darkness. When I was a student in college I made my first attempt to take my life by taking 300 aspirin. I was unconscious for two days and was deathly ill but I survived.

I married when I was twenty one years old because I didn’t want anyone to have any suspicions of my secrets. I also foolishly thought that marriage might make an impact on my longings. Though I married for the wrong reasons I truly loved my wife and tried very hard to be a good husband and father. I was not in a healthy emotional place and was diligent to keep her from ever knowing about my secrets. She was an incredible lady who expressed deep faith in God and was very loyal to me and to our son. I live with regret that I was never honest with my wife concerning my same-sex struggle.

I entered into vocational ministry as a way to medicate my profound longings for affirmation, acceptance, and significance. Through all of this I was acting out homosexually & developed a sexual compulsion that was totally out of control. I was absolutely powerless to stop and out of fear of rejection and condemnation I was not willing to seek help. I didn’t even know help existed. I knew if anyone learned of my dark secrets I would lose everything that gave me significance in life. This resulted in secrecy, deception, living a double life, and shame. The enemy knew if he kept me in this unhealthy place I would never recover.

As I continued my life as a minister I was living a life of duplicity. I was a pastor and a campus minister on a university campus while also acting out homosexually. I was obsessed with deep seated needs for love and acceptance. Fear of losing what significance and value I had earned over my life was crippling and kept me paralyzed. I would often cry myself to sleep at night and would beg God to either heal me or kill me.

I need to make it clear that I do not use my experience of early childhood abuse as an excuse for my behavior. I take full responsibility for what I have done. I did not choose my temptations and longings but I did choose to act out on those longings and I chose to not get help until I came to a place of absolute desperation. I believe the LORD loved me so much He orchestrated my complete exposure to bring me to a place of submission to His will for my life.

While serving as campus minister of a university I was guilty of making inappropriate sexual advances toward a student. After I was reported to university officials I was fired from my position. The university officials had made the assumption that due to my wife’s recent death I must have had a mental and emotional breakdown. They also assumed that this was an isolated experience. I was too ashamed and unhealthy to be honest about the depths of my struggle with same-sex attractions and my life of homosexual behavior. I allowed them to believe their assumptions and I did not disclose truth about my struggles. As a result I missed out on an opportunity to begin a journey of healing and recovery.

But God loved me and heard my cry and He continued pursuing me. The biblical principle is that God will expose our secrets and bring things into the light (1 Corinthians 4:5; Eph. 5:8-13). I always thought if I was ever exposed I would end my life because I thought that would be the very worst thing that could ever happen to me. But it turned out to be the very best thing that happened to me (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28) because God forced me to begin dealing with brokenness and my sinful behavior.

Through a process God orchestrated the full disclosure of a life-time of homosexual behavior on Friday night, November 10, 1995. At this time a group of people confronted me and for the very first time in my life, at age 45, I confessed out loud my life-long battle with same-sex attraction and homosexual behavior.

I hurriedly left that meeting in total humiliation, embarrassment and shame. I pulled my car into the garage and shut the door. I wrote my son a note, grabbed my pillow, went back to the garage and started the engine of my car. I went to sleep on the concrete floor fully expecting to die. I slept through the night and woke up the next morning; the car engine was still running. I wasn’t even nauseous nor did I have a headache from the fumes. I turned off the engine to my car and threw the note away and loaded a rental truck with all my belongings and moved to Nashville.

I started attending Two Rivers Baptist Church and a few weeks later I found myself in the office of the pastor, Dr. Jerry Sutton. I began sharing my story with him with great fear & trembling; I didn’t know how he would respond. This was a big moment in my life. If Dr. Sutton had turned me away I really don’t know what choices I would have made.

Dr. Sutton set up a plan for me to receive counseling through the counseling ministry of the church. The Minister of Counseling introduced me to a book called, “Lifetime Guarantee,” by Bill Gillham. This book made a profound impact on my life. It was through this book that I began to learn about two of the most important truths in life.

I also began an intense therapy program through two other therapists. One was a Christian psychologist who was assigned to me as a result of my suicide attempt. The other was a counselor affiliated with Exodus International. We continued a counseling relationship for three years.

Another spiritual marker involved an evangelist who came to Two Rivers Baptist Church, Ken Freeman. One night his sermon topic was “Whose Your Daddy.” He began the worship service by asking everyone who had never known the love of an earthly father to stand. He then prayed over us. This experience reached a deep longing in my heart. At the close of the service I found myself at the altar crying out and forgiving my father for the first time in my life. A few weeks later I visited my Father’s grave site and spoke to him as if he were there with me. This was a major step in my healing journey. The LORD was showing me that He is my Father.

The most important thing the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is that authentic Christian faith is not about law, works, flesh, or self-effort but about having a personal love relationship with God. Jesus was asked “what is the Greatest Commandment?” His answer is found in Matthew 22:36-40, “to love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. . .” These verses have become my life’s scripture.

Another vital and life-changing truth the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is to embrace and truly believe who GOD has declared me to be in Christ Jesus. This is my true identity. The enemy is out to “steal, kill and to destroy. . .” John 10:10. I believe one of his most effective tools to destroy us is to get us to a place where we believe his lies about who we are rather than believing the truth of who God says we are in Christ.

As I continue to grow in my understanding of these two fundamental truths and as I continually surrender my mind, will and emotions to Him, and as I submit to His truth and Lordship in my life I continue in a process of change, healing and freedom. I am becoming who the LORD says I am. It is an on-going “Great Adventure.” This is a critically important biblical principle that is taught in Romans 7:24-25-8:1, 1 Corinthians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 5:17, and Galatians 2:20.

I have learned that I am not a homosexual, I am not a fag, I am not a queer, and I am not gay, I’m not even ex-gay. I have learned that, in Christ Jesus, I am a righteous son of God, I am justified, I am forgiven, I am holy and blameless, I am perfect, I am accepted and acceptable, I am loved and loveable, and I am a brother to Jesus.

As a result of the redemptive work of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit in my life and the Heavenly Father’s grace and mercy I am no longer being controlled by my sexual appetites and by the lusts of my flesh. In describing my sexual brokenness I can say that what began as a raging forest fire consuming everything in its path has become nothing more than a small flicker of a flame. This is the on-going work that the LORD has done in my life and I have never known greater joy, meaning, hope and purpose.

My journey is not yet complete (which is true for all of us regardless of whatever our struggle/s might be) but I am learning that my chief purpose is “to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever” and I know that I will never be the same again!

In the Name of Yahweh Gibbor (the LORD is Our Victorious Warrior),
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org

Simon the Magician: The Peril of Pursuing Greatness

Some of my reading tonight included a great little article by Jon Bloom, Executive Director of DesiringGod (John Piper's ministry). I wanted to share part of it because I think it really speaks to what many pastors and church leaders may be guilty of. This would be a good warning to us as we strive to build our own little kingdoms instead of making certain that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ (1 Peter 4:11).

We must heed the Bible's warning in Acts 8: if we attempt great things so that others will see us as great, we are in grave spiritual peril.

After Stephen had been brutally stoned to death, intense persecution broke out against the Christians in Jerusalem. Many were driven off to the towns and villages of Judea and Samaria.

Few saw these horrible events as a means Jesus was using to fulfill His word: ". . .you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Sanmaria" (Acts 1:8). We don't need to lose heart when the world's hostility towards Christians increases, JESUS WILL NOT LOSE! Every time the world tries to stamp out the gospel, the gospel spreads.

Philip, Stephen's co-servant to the Hellenistic widows, headed to Samaria and preached and performed signs and wonders in a city there. Large numbers of Samaritans professed faith and were baptized. A man named Simon was one of them.

Simon was a local celebrity. He was a magician of sorts, and had mesmerized the locals with his arts. They had given him the title The Great Power of God. And he LOVED it. he basked in his reputation and fed off the admiration and respect he received.

But when Philip arrived, the game changed. The gospel Philip preached and the signs he performed were beyond Simon's abilities. Simon watched with covetous awe as the real, great power of God flowed through Philip.

Then Peter and John showed up from Jerusalem. And when they prayed, people were filled withe the Holy Spirit. This drew even more crowds. Everyone was talking about them. Everyone was mesmerized by them.

No one was mesmerized by Simon anymore. He was a has-been, a dkiminishing star. And like many who have once experienced the euphoric drug of other people's adoration, he wanted that rush again. If he could somehow get this Jesus power, then once again he could be great. He was willing to pay a high price for that drug.

So at a discreet moment, he approached Peter and John with a proposition. If they would let him in on the secret they possessed, if they would share their power with him, a small fortune in silver would be theirs and no one would ever know.

Peter's eyes seemed to burn right into Simon's heart. And then Peter's words seemed to slice him open: "May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the LORD that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity (Acts 8:20-23).

Peter's words to Simon were not merely harsh. They were full of mercy. The love of self-glory is an extremely dangerous cancer of the soul and is spiritually fata if not addressed. This cancer requires a straightforward, serious diagnosis.

This account is in the Bible so that we will remember that God's power is not a commodity tlo be traded. It's not a means for us to pursue our own greatness or wealth.

We can all relate to Simon. We are all tempted to pursue our own glory, even in the work of the kingdom. It was a major driving force in my life for many years as I sought affirmation and acceptance.

When we recognize that familiar craving we need to deal severely with it. We must confess confess it (often to others, not just God), repent, and resist. Because if left alone, it can develop into a spiritual cancer that can bind us to real glory, and may ultimatley kill us.

Let us take Peter's advice and do all that we do "by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 4:11). God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

In The Name of the One and Only True and Living God,
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782

A Young Man's Battle With Homosexuality and Aids

The following is a life story of a young man who has been involved in the Sight Ministry in Nashville, TN. For more information contact:
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nasvhille, TN 37214
615-509-0782
ricahrd@thesightministry.org

“From Lust to Divine Love and a Little of the In Between and the Now...”

My name is Bradley. I am 26 years old and I come from a small town in West Tennessee where I was raised in a very strict Christian home. I always knew of the love of God from what I read in my Bible and from what I heard every Wednesday and Sunday in church. . .I’m sure many of you had similar upbringings. It has taken me until now to appreciate this gift as I never seemed to grasp the concept of God’s love and only half believed the teachings I was so readily given.

Early on I found myself needy and it seemed I had a hole in my soul. One would think with how regularly I attended church and was part of the community I would have most certainly found the one and only thing that can fill this void. But, sadly, I never found it during this season of my life. As I grew older I began realizing that there was something different about me. Something inside me told me it was wrong and I felt a deep sense of shame. I didn’t understand where it came from nor did I even know what it was inside me, but I knew it was something strong. I cried many nights and prayed for God to change me. Eventually the truth of what I was becoming was revealed when I began to act out in different ways from other teenagers and I began having my first sexual relations with other boys and men and having false amorous feelings for them. I confused lust with love for a very long time because even though I didn’t realize it I had not allowed the love of God to capture me.

I was a hardheaded and rebellious teenager during the 90’s. I can remember MTV strongly encouraging all homosexuals to come out of the closet. . .and so I came out when I was only 15 years old. The backlash from my family and my church was severe. A deacon’s wife even asked me to not come back to church. Even though I self-created this I felt I was being persecuted and attacked so I retaliated. I turned my back against God and I became a practitioner of witch craft and never wanted to hear the word God or Christ again. My life got crazier from that point on.

I could no longer get along with my parents and I left for college. I was very arrogant and flamboyant and I dared someone to look at me in a wrong way. I was always angry and hateful things continually spewed from my mouth. I was suspended from college. I spent my time trolling the gay bars looking for men. Eventually I fell into drugs.

Before long I was a bitter and lonely cocaine addict. It was then that I thought I got my big break. A “modeling” scout from California filled my head with dreams of being a “model.” I ended up becoming a star alright but I never dreamed it would be a porn star. I ended up getting involved in the sex industry. Before I knew it I was in five different films and my face was plastered on the internet. At the time I felt good and my ego was greatly inflated by what I was doing. Until I came home.

At home people treated me differently and I fell into a deep state of depression. I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded. When I awoke the first words out of my mouth were curses against God for not allowing me to die.

Soon after that I tested positive for HIV. I hit an even deeper state of depression. I felt life was over. My emotions were so numb I couldn’t even cry. Without God to guide me I did the only thing I knew to do. I ran to hide in the gay underworld. I spent my nights and days drinking heavily, doing large amounts of cocaine, popping pills and engaging in wild and anonymous sex with so many partners I have no way of counting.

Eventually, I began noticing a strange pull deep inside of my heart from somewhere. I had a sense that this hole in my heart could be filled but I ignored it and I continued to indulge in all of the tools of my flesh since that was all I knew. My life belonged to the darkness and that’s where I stayed for seven years.

Then one day I awoke and found myself in a blood soaked bed. The blood was from my own face. I walked to the mirror and looked at my reflection and was so shocked at what I saw I cried out in horror. I was covered in blood. My eyes were sunken in and bloodshot and my frail 112 lb body looked like a living skeleton. At that moment I dropped to my knees in tears and I prayed and I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life for deliverance from this self imposed hell in which I had become lost.

God answered! He simply said, “Wait.” I became strangely still and then I felt calmness come over me. The LORD spoke and said, “Call your Mother now, she knows your suffering. . . ask for help.” So I called my Mother. We were not on good terms because I had mistreated my family so horribly with my own selfishness and headstrong desire to live my lifestyle as I saw fit. I was living a self-absorbed life of hedonism and debauchery. When my Mother answered the phone she was surprisingly warm and told me she knew that I needed help but she was waiting for my call.

And I did get help. I was taken to a Christian-based rehab facility in Nashville where I not only dealt with my addiction but I dealt with my own demons and rebuilt my relationship with God. For the first time in my life He filled me with love, empathy, sympathy and most importantly I felt I belonged.

I left the rehab facility with Christ as my Savior and my very best friend Who would be faithful to guide me. I did not relapse into that hedonistic lifestyle. However, I will be honest and tell you that I continued to struggle with homosexual temptations and experienced failures along the journey. I am no longer being controlled by my temptations and there is a voice inside of me that reminds me of the futility of embracing such a dark lifestyle. For me it was full of misery, anger, stress, sickness, and addiction. Those things always scare me and bring me to a place where I cry out to the LORD for strength and for truth. I may always struggle with this at some level but I know one thing, God loves me wholeheartedly and will be there with me during every struggle.

Now that I’ve shared with you my struggles with sin and the transition out of it, I want to share some very good news. I have been HIV positive since I was 18 years old. I am currently on no medications. I have fallen into AIDS status twice in my life and my body miraculously healed and fought off the infection each time. According to what doctors are telling me this is not the norm. They are interested in studying my blood for genetic markers to see where this amazing ability my blood seems to have to fight the disease comes from. I don’t need their answer to know this, it’s clear to me. . . God has done this for me and this is only one of the great miracles He has brought to my life and I thank Him and praise Him often for it.

I pray my story may touch one life and bring encouragement to who ever might read what the LORD has done in me.

Trusting Him,
Bradley

Crazy Love, by Francis Chan

On the back cover of the book, "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan:

"Have you ever wondered if we're missing it?It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe--the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor--loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? we go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss.

Whether you've verbalized it yet or not. . .we all know something's wrong.

Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? are you hungry for an AUTHENTIC (there's my word!) faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts--it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, you will never be the same.

Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."

This is me -- My spirit and heart really resonates with this. I have been speaking this for several years but I feel I haven't been able to express my heart clearly. I've actually been yelled at by some as I've tried to express this thought.

Several years ago the LORD gave me Matthew 22:36-40 as my life's scripture passage. It is so very profound. I have been focusing on it ever since and have not even come close to beginning to comprehend that kind of love for God and for others. Yet Jesus clearly taught this as THE MOST IMPORTANT COMMAND. . .the most important focus of our lives for all eternity.

Even the cover of the book uses a simple diagram of an arrow pointing upward referring to our vertical love for God and an arrow pointing downward representing His radical unconditional love for you and me. I have always made one line with arrows at each end, one pointing up and the other pointing down. Then I would draw a horizontal line crossing the verticle line with arrows on each end of it as well, representing our love for one another. Not surprisingly it forms a cross which represents the greatest symbol of love and sacrifice the world has ever known.

I AM HIS DESIRE! He is the LOVER OF MY SOUL!

This great truth addresses every issue that humanity has ever experienced or ever will experience. Every solution to every problem is ultimately answered and resolved through this greatest of all truths! In this truth we learn and are staggered by WHO GOD IS (the vertricle arrows)and in this truth our GOD reveals our true identity (the horizontal arrows).

We come to understand that simple Sunday School answer really and trully is THE ANSWER -- JESUS!!! It's Jesus! The answer IS JESUS! He is the Answer of answers!

I can't wait to read this book. I'm certain you will hear more about this soon!

Longing to be most satisfied in Him!
Richard Holloman
The Sight Minisgtry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org

Christians: The New Social Outcasts

This is a thought provoking article written by Alan Chambers, President of Exodus International. I have also posted a comment following his article.

Christians: The New Social Outcasts
Alan Chambers Columns - Let's Get Real

I was an outcast in the 6th grade. I've told more than one person that I wouldn't go back to that time in my life for all the money in the world. That was the year my classmates got downright mean. We've all heard the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," but many of us know from personal experience that they can. Words can wound our spirits and create fear and isolation. Some of the 6th graders in my class knew this all too well and used it to their advantage.

One day after school, I boarded my bus and was waiting for it to take me home. There were around twenty other busloads of students waiting to do the same thing. One of my classmates leaned out his window so hundreds of kids could see and hear him. He started speaking in a mocking, effeminate manner that was clearly meant to emulate that of a "gay" person's voice. He then called out my name - waving and pointing. The message was clear, "Alan is gay." My entire bus just looked at me. Kids on the other buses did the same. They began to point and laugh. I endured more incidents like that than I care to recall.

As I transitioned to junior high and high school, I did a lot to repackage my image and worked hard to overcome anything that would hint that I might be gay. I'm not sure I did a great job, but most of my classmates finally decided they liked me. In my early adulthood, I began to seriously consider how to deal with my struggle with same-sex attraction. The world around me was shifting. The culture's beliefs and attitudes about homosexuality were changing. What had long been the position of Hollywood started rubbing off on Main Street. Eventually, after trying it I decided that Hollywood's views were based on the illusion of a contented gay life that conflicted with my deepest beliefs. I turned to the ministry I now lead, Exodus International, for support and they helped me unravel scars from the past and inspired me with hopes for the future.
It was during this time of transition that one of my classmates told me that the leader of the cruel attacks I endured in 6th grade had come out as gay himself. I did feel some empathy for him, but the fact that he was launching an all out verbal assault on me while he was struggling with the same issues was tough to reconcile. He was the most popular, accepted kid in our class and could have used his popularity to help me, a "geek," but instead shunned me and encouraged others to do the same. I guess insecure people often displace their insecurity by demonizing others.

Fast forward more than twenty years later to now - where the social climate as well as the opportunity for rejection is still changing and evolving. We now have various social networking sites such as YouTube, MySpace and Facebook. For those of you who aren't familiar with Facebook, you have to send or receive a "friend request" in order to connect with someone. I've sent and received many from old classmates - good friends and casual acquaintances. One day as I was perusing my list of friends, I noticed that two of my good buddies from high school had all of the sudden disappeared from my "friend" list. I wondered if it had anything to do with my "controversial" life or my "controversial" career. So I e-mailed them and asked. My suspicions were confirmed. Talk about hypocritical. I have 1,300 friends on Facebook (sarcastic "Woo Hoo!" to follow) many of whom by no means live moral lives, vote the way I would or even believe in God. I know several who are openly gay and others who outright reject my faith. I choose to befriend those who are diametrically opposed to the life I have chosen to live and yet I am rejected for my "bigoted" and "intolerant" views.

People of faith who choose to surrender their sexuality to Christ and who choose to live their lives in a way that is different than the culture's new normal are now the new social outcasts. It's obvious that people of faith in general are in the same category. I was just reading that California's Prop. 8 opponents are now circulating maps identifying the personal homes of individuals who financially supported Prop. 8 in order to harass their families and shame their views! Unbelievable.

Many students will risk the rejection of their peers and subject themselves to outright discrimination on April 20 to stand up for biblical truth on campuses nationwide on the Day of Truth. This annual event originated five years ago to affirm every students' constitutional right to free speech and to provide an opportunity to have an honest conversation about sexuality. These students will courageously join their voices with the more than 13,000 others who in years past have done just that. I stand with them as someone who has experienced the freedom truth brings and I am reminded that we are in good company. Jesus was a social outcast. He told us we would be too in 1 John 3:13, "Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you," and in John 15:18, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." He considered us worth the rejection of the world. May we consider those who reject us worth the same.

Alan Chambers is the President of Exodus International, the largest worldwide Christian outreach to those dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction and the author of two books - God's Grace & the Homosexual Next Door and Leaving Homosexuality. http://www.exodusinternational.org/

Richard Holloman said:
The Church Gets a D- At BestMuch of the current anomosity that is directed toward Exodus ministries and many churches by individuals who are gay-identified stems from the fact that the Church in general has done a very poor job in loving and understanding those of us who have strugged with or who experience same-sex attraction issues. The church has been excellent at pointing out sinfulness but has been greatly lacking in the area of being redemptive or understanding toward those who deal with SSA. This is totally unfortunate becasue Exodus International and those who serve with Exodus International and in ministries affiliated with Exodus International are striving to be Christ-like in compassion, love and understanding toward those who deal with SSA. Much of what we have heard through the media and by some gay-embracing individuals has been unfair and untrue. Exodus International and affiliating ministries simply believe the Bible teaches that any sexual behavior outside of marriage between one biological male and one biological female is contrary to God's plan and purposes and is sinful. This is not hatred. It is our faith. If this is truly what we believe then not to speak out would be the unloving thing. The question is what does the Bible really teach. The bottom line for Exodus ministries and most believers is this is biblical truth and is not up for debate. Some who disagree have chosen to be unfair and charge us with hatred, hate speech and homophobs. This also is just as unfortunate as is how the church in the past has dealt with ssa issues. The ironic thing about this is Exodus International and those involved with Exodus ministries have a desire to challenge the Church to become more biblical in dealing with this issue and more Christ-like in responding to those who are hurting. Jesus calls us to a radical love that is unconditional and comes absolutely from His Spirit within us. Therefore, I don't care who you are, where you've been, or what you have done . . . I love you and accept you where you're at. I will walk with you and will pray that you don't remain there.

Facebook | Home - 2009 Exodus Freedom Conference Video Promo

I saw this for the first time today. It's a good promo piece for the Exodus Freedom Conference for 2009. I want to encourage everyone to pray about attending or providing funds for others to attend! Let me hear from you -- richard@thesightministry.org or 615-509-0782.

God Loves Homosexuals

God Loves Homosexuals 2:14pm

This is a good article on a message given by Bob Stith to ministry leaders. Bob is the national strategist on gender issues for the Southern Baptist Convention. I serve with him on what is called the Southern Baptist Convention Taskforce on Homosexuality. He truly has a heart for God and he has a heart for individuals who struggle with same-sex issues. That's pretty incredible coming from a guy who has never struggled in this way and who, on the contrary, was pretty condemning and judgmental in the past toward those who do.

Please take just a moment and read the article. For more information feel free to contact me: Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782

Pastors weigh same-sex attitudesBy: Brittany N. HowertonOriginal article can be found here, http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?Id=30004.OPELIKA, Ala. (BP)

Standing before a room of about 20 pastors and ministry leaders in Alabama, Bob Stith introduced a topic he said most Southern Baptists don't want to deal with -- homosexuality."Churches would rather avoid this issue and deal with it as I used to -- harsh and condemning," said Stith, who is the Southern Baptist Convention's national strategist for gender issues.And avoid it they have.

The mid-January meeting of the Tuskegee Lee Baptist Association in Opelika, Ala., was the first such session in the nation Stith has been invited to since accepting the position in 2006.In an effort to change that mindset, associational director of missions Bill King invited Stith to speak so pastors and churches could learn how to minister to homosexuals and their families.

In sharing his story, Stith confessed he had been "one of those guys" who was contemptuous toward homosexuals. But when God broke his heart on the matter 15 years ago, he knew he had to make a change."I realized a lot of what I had done was a reaction to what I had seen of gay activism in the media and entertainment.... I didn't know there were thousands of men and women and families whose hearts were breaking for a struggle they didn't ask for and one they didn't understand," Stith said. "My attitude was -- it's a choice; it's just a choice. What I learned was sin is always a choice ... but you don't always get to choose what temptation you get. You don't always choose the dragon; sometimes the dragon chooses you."

But his idea that "thousands" were struggling was an underestimate, Stith said. He found that studies show at least 1.4 percent of the U.S. population -- perhaps more than 4.2 million people -- deals with homosexuality.Factor in parents, siblings and a few friends and other relatives, and that number increases exponentially, Stith said."And that's a conservative estimate," he said.
"What are we doing as Christians to meet the needs these people have?"

In the book "UnChristian," authors David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons pointed out that 91 percent of "unchurched" Americans think the church is anti-homosexual."Not [just] that we believe it's sin but that [the church] is anti-homosexual," Stith said. "And 80 percent of churched young adults felt the same way."He said young Americans who attend church also feel the church is not equipping them to "minister effectively" to their homosexual co-workers. "The homosexual community knows we think it's a sin, but do they know we care?" Stith asked. He said his goal is to get churches to be proactive and not reactive.

King said he hopes pastors will take Stith's message -- along with those who are "sometimes ignored by the church" -- to heart, stirring them to be more sensitive to the needs of church families dealing with homosexual problems. "Sometimes we just kind of brush that under the carpet and hope it will go away," King said.

Ross Kilpatrick, pastor of First Baptist Church Reeltown in Notasulga, Ala., agreed that every person has temptations."The bottom line is we are all right there -- a sinner saved by grace, all of us," Kilpatrick said. "Apart from seeking Christ and His power being made perfect in our weakness and overcoming sin, there is not one of us not vulnerable to sin."

Even as Stith continues to receive hate mail from homosexual activists and pastors alike, his challenge to Southern Baptist churches across the nation will not change.Echoing evangelist and author Josh McDowell, Stith said: "If your church is healthy, you'll have drug addicts, sex addicts, unwed mothers and those kinds of things. And [McDowell] said you will have them because if your church is what it ought to be, God will send them there to be healed. So my question is: If you don't have that problem, then why not?"

Gays & Lesbians Must Come to Jesus, But You Cannot!

I cannot reason with an individual who embraces a gay-identified life (or any other life of unbelief) apart from Who God is and what His Word says. Every facet of my life comes out of my faith perspective. It's pretty black and white to me: either God is or He is not; either God's Word is absolute truth or it is not. I chose to believe God is and His word is Truth. I do not have any other expectations from those who chose not to believe. But I truly love every gay-identified person. Check out the article below:

Rabbi Duncan Preached to Those Who Couldn't Come
March 6, 2009 By: John Piper Category: Commentary
The Bible teaches that we are so sinful we are morally unable to please God (Romans 8:7). It also teaches that without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). Yet salvation is by faith, and we are called again and again in Scripture to believe (Acts 16:31).

How then shall we preach to those who cannot come to Christ, but must come in order to be saved?

John Duncan (1796-1870) was a minister of the Free Church of Scotland and a missionary to the Jews in Hungary. He is often referred to as Rabbi Duncan because of his love for Jewish people. John Macleod wrote that "since the days of the Apostles there is hardly on record such a striking work of grace among the Jews as took place in the days of his labors in Buda-Pesth.”
Here is Duncan’s penetrating answer to our question.

It would not do to tell a man that he may come to Christ, but that he must come. Some, indeed, would have man to do all, though he could do nothing; and others would have him to do nothing, because all was done for him.

As long as I am told that I must come to God, and that I can come, I am left to suppose that some good thing, or some power of good remains in me, and I arrogate to myself that which belongs to Jehovah. The creature is exalted, and God is robbed of His glory.
If, on the other hand, I am told that I cannot come to God, but not also that I must come, I am left to rest contented at a distance from God, I am not responsible for my rebellion, and God Jehovah is not my God.

But if we preach that sinners can't come, and yet must come, then is the honour of God vindicated, and the sinner is shut up. Man must be so shut up that he must come to Christ, and yet know that he cannot. He must come to Christ, or he will look to another, when there is no other to whom he may come; he cannot come, or he will look to himself.

This is the gospel vice, to shut up men to the faith. Some grasp at one limb of the vice and some at the other, leaving the sinner open - but when a man is shut up that he must and cannot, he is shut up to the faith - shut up to the faith, and then would he be shut up in the faith. God is declared to be Jehovah, and the sinner is made willing to be saved by Him, in His own way, as sovereign in His grace. (Rich Gleanings, 392, emphases added)

In Jesus' Name,
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782

Seeing & Savoring Jesus Brings Freedom From Homosexuality: Testimony by Joshua Scott Christmas

The following is a testimony from one of our guys who has participated in The Sight Ministry. I want to make one statement of clarification: When I speak of "freedom from homosexuality" (I named the title) I am referring to the idea that homosexuality no longer is a controlling dominating factor in my life. This does not necessarily mean that I, or others who are fighting the fight for faith in this arena, have no same-sex attraction temptations or thoughts at all. This would be similar to any believer who walks in "freedom" but is not implying totall freedom of any temptation. Each person who is walking this journey of freedom from same-sex attraction issues is unique and we are each at different places on our journey. But it is truly a great adventure and an exciting journey! I invite you to join us. Call me at 615-509-0782 or email me at richard@thesightministry.org or, if you dare, comment on this blog.



Testimony
Joshua Scott Christmas

I grew up in a small town outside of Seattle, WA. I was raised an only child and my parents were evangelists and later became pastors. Like many families my parents divorced when I was 8 and my father ended up relocating to Nashville, TN. My mother remarried a wonderful man, but being a young child I totally rejected his influence in my life from the start. I thought that loving my stepfather would mean I didn’t love my father.

My family attended a small Pentecostal church where at 9 years of age I accepted Christ as my Savior and was baptized. I can remember from an early age that I had a profound love for my Jesus and a desire to know Him more.

I remember being a teenager, praying and begging for Jesus to take my homosexual desires away. As I look back I realize that if He had done that I would have had no way of helping others who struggle with unwanted homosexual desires. I would not be able to give my insight on how others can walk out their deliverance from homosexuality, rejection and the countless other things that accompany this struggle.

All through my high school years I had a horrible time relating to and connecting with other boys. Girls were so much more comfortable and familiar to me. I remember praying that God would give me just one guy best friend. I prayed this prayer for many years. I felt ashamed of this longing and my need to be accepted by other guys. I could not grasp why I craved this so much. I would see guys come up to each other and embrace or give a big bear hug to each other. I wished so badly that someone would hug me like that but there was no way I was going to initiate it because in my mind if I showed signs of joy at hugging men then surely everyone would think I was gay.

At the same time, I also was dealing with my perceptions and feelings of rejection from the men in my life. My intense longing for male acceptance and affirmation drove me to insecurity and extreme anxiety. As I began to develop into manhood, my sexual thought life was all over the place. It consumed me inside and out. My desire for acceptance had now turned sexual. I would pick guys out that had what I felt I was lacking, who looked like they had it all together. I would watch them with their friends playing football and laughing and wishing so much that I could be a part of their world. I never knew what to do with these impulses and feelings. I was too afraid to tell my struggle to anyone. I felt that disclosing this secret struggle would only make things worse for me. I was sure that I would be labeled a “faggot” and shunned. I resolved to just deal with it on my own. I felt alone, rejected and inferior.

After high school I moved to Nashville, TN, to live with my father and stepmother. I became part of a local church and was very active in it. Yet, all the while my struggle with homosexual temptations grew stronger and entangled me more. I finally confided in my pastor and father, but sadly, due to my lack of accountability and my unwillingness to be more open with my struggle I fell deeper. I continued to live in guilt, bondage and condemnation.

At age 21 I moved out on my own and that was the beginning of the end. I lived in sin and filth and felt more separated from God with each new day. My relationship with Christ was being compromised by my need for male affection and acceptance. Logically I understood that I was heading down a dark and evil path but the hope of just maybe finding a man to love me overpowered my mind and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. It was a risk I was willing to take.

I remember the first time I stepped into a gay club in 1998. I had never felt such acceptance and “love” from the friends that I met. They understood me. For the first time in my life I didn’t have to hide my desires or pretend to be something else. I was the popular one. Men wanted to be around me. It was an intoxicating feeling that made me feel like I was on top of the world.

Yet in spite of my new found world, deep inside I hated what I was doing and becoming. I started lying to everyone that cared about me. I became heavily involved in drugs and was going out at least five nights a week. I knew my life was spiraling completely out of control. I continued in this lifestyle for the next eight years.

I remember one day in May of 2006, I was driving home and the song, “Jesus Take the Wheel,” began to play. I heard the lyrics “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been living my life. I know I’ve got to change so from now on tonight, Jesus take the wheel. Take it from my hand cause I can’t do this on my own. I’m letting go so give me one more chance. Save me from this road I’m on. Jesus take the wheel.” Every day for a month I played that song and I would cry like a baby. It was as close as I could get to praying. Then, on June 3, 2006, I was home resting before a night out when the power of God fell so heavy in my living room. I heard the Lord tell me that because of the prayers that had gone up for me and because I was truly miserable in my sin, Jesus was going to deliver me. And that was it. In an hour it was over.

I called my homosexual friends and the guy I was seeing and ended those relationships. I went to church for the first time in months and totally surrendered myself to Jesus. It was what I needed at that moment to give me strength to begin the amazing journey of walking in my deliverance.

God led me to a church called Family Worship Center in Jackson, TN. This church was not afraid of my struggle and did not reject me but totally accepted this lonely broken boy who was in desperate need of love. I was embraced by an awesome group of Christian guys who committed to walking this out with me. It was the hardest and yet most fulfilling season of my life. At the time, I was still living in Nashville so every week for a year I would make the two hour drive to meet with these men. God used my new brothers in Christ to minister the truth and love that I was searching for. These men helped me discover my identity in Christ.

On February 4, 2007, I was visiting the church and after service I walked into the pastor’s office to find his niece sitting on the couch. Instantly I heard the Lord say, “This is your wife, the woman I have made for you.” We began dating and a year later, March 15, 2008, we were married. During the year of our dating I also began finding healthy male friendships that I had desperately wanted all my life. Other men who walked alongside me keeping me accountable, encouraging me and being my friend.

God is continuing to restore the years that Satan had taken from me. My life is one miracle after another and I thank God every day for the blessings He is pouring out on me and my family. Jesus has given me the wholeness and healing that I was desperate for. He not only saved me but He also liberated me and continues to liberate me. I finally understand what it means not just to be a Christian, but to have a personal relationship with an awesome, loving and gracious God. This journey has brought me closer to God and has shown me my complete dependence on Him.

As witness to His faithfulness in my life, I now serve in a ministry at my church called Liberty Outreach and I am using my life to help others walk in deliverance. God has taken what He is doing in me to give others hope.

My passion is to help the Church become a place of safety, refuge and support for those struggling with unwanted homosexuality. Our culture is telling youth, men and women, to accept and embrace their homosexual struggles as their identity, while the Church has remained silent. We are living in a time where sin is not only being tolerated, but it is being celebrated. We as Christians have an amazing chance to stand up for what is righteous and to love people no matter how tattered and broken they are and to open our hearts to them. “There has no temptation taken us but such as is common to man, and God who is faithful will not allow us to be tempted above that which we are able but with that temptation makes a way of escape that we will be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

A Message to the Church Today: REPENT OR PERISH!

I thought this was a very important message so I wanted to share it on my blog. This is a message to the Church, to the people of God, to you and me. I realize it must begin with me! How about you? Most church attenders and churches today are pretty well summed up in this article.

A True Call for Revival
by Henry T. Blackaby

I've heard many "calls" for revival recently but with very little teaching and exposition on revival. It seems that in these urgent days there are too few leaders who actually are leading God's people corporately to repent, pray, seek holiness and return to God.

Do we not realize that scripturally it is impossible to have a call for revival without a call for repentance? This has always been God's requirement for His people. The passionate, unceasing corporate prayer that is always present in revival is desperately lacking as well. In short, I see little evidence of sincere brokenness among God's people for our present condition or the condition of our nation.

We call for revival without actually crying with tears and brokenness for revival. The "call for revival" seems almost like a spiritual fad, with no true passion and sincerity of heart. Many will say "amen" when they hear mention of the need for revival. But the "call" is fleeting and soon passes away. And then we quickly move on to other activity and return to our business as usual with no follow-through by the leaders of God's people.

We must understand that a true call for revival is first and foremost a recognition that we've departed from God. It demands a radical response from God's leaders and His people. Revival has always been, and remains to this day, God dealing with the sin of His own -– not the world.

Therefore, if we never recognize our need for repentance of sin, then our "call" for revival is in vain. Isaiah warned God's people: "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from God; and your sins have hidden His face from you; so that He will not hear"(Isaiah 59:1-2).

This lack of recognition among God's people to see their present spiritual condition frightens me. The continued neglect of dealing with the sin of God's people is both obvious and appalling. Have we moved so far from God that we remain content in our sin? Do we not fear the judgment of God? Week after week, wherever I go, I hear no mention of our desperate need of God. There's no spontaneous concern or cry to God. It's simply not on the minds and hearts of God's people -– at least where I am and where I travel.

Let me draw to your attention to several things that God's people must do immediately.

First, we must seek God to grant us broken and contrite hearts. "For thus says the High and Lofty One Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: 'I dwell in the high and holy place, with him who has a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones'" (Isaiah 57:15). And again, "[O]n him will I look: on him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word" (Isaiah 66:2).

Next, spiritual leaders must "return to Lord" –- and stay there. (Zechariah 1:3; Malachi 3:1-7; Acts 6:1-4).

Third, the people of God must pray corporately with one heart and one mind. (Acts 1:14; Acts 2:1; Acts 4:31).

Fourth, God's people must be immediately obedient to all God reveals to them. (1 Samuel 15:22-23)

Then, continually bear witness to God's people of all that God is doing. (Acts 1:8; Acts 14:21-22, 26-27)

Finally, we should expect and experience Christ's fullness of joy. Jesus said: "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full" (John 15:9-11).

The immediate need for revival among God's people is "life and death" for our nation. Apparently, there are too many of us who simply don't believe that, and there are far too few who sense the awful judgment that is to come if we do not see revival. Believe Christ's warning: "[U]nless you repent you will all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3). Let us, therefore, repent and return quickly to the Lord.

Thoughts On Dietrich Bonhoeffer: Are You Willing To Die?

Dietrick Bonhoeffer's death has been a contemporary confirmation of Tertullian's dictum, "The Blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church." Bonhoeffer was executed by the Gestapo near the end of World War II because of his unwillingness to stand by and remain silent against Hitler's crimes.

Bonhoeffer obviously met Jesus Christ and accepted the ultimate consequences of that encounter in the world.

My thought is: With the coming persecution of the Church is my faith deep enough for me to be willing to lay down my life as a martyr? Religion or cognitive understanding of doctrine without experiencing a deeper intimacy with the Father will not motivate us to take that kind of stand for Jesus.

Henry Blackaby commented at a recent conference I attended that the church is full of individuals who understand right doctirne without any dept of experience or intimacy with God. It's what I call religion!

Jesus' call to be His followers is very radical and much different from what we are calling church members to these days: "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found hiks life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 10:34-39).

For Bonhoeffer Christianity could never be merely intellectual theory, doctrine divorced from life, or mystical emotion, but always it must be responsible, obedient action, the discipleship of Christ in every situation of concrete everyday life, personal and public.

"When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die." -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

President Obama & Homosexuality

I want to encourage you to open this link from OneNewsNow.com:White House outlines Obama's pro-homosexual agenda and read President Obama’s agenda as related to homosexual issues facing our nation. In the body of the story is another link that will take you to the White House’s agenda on civil rights. By checking that link you actually can read the agenda from the Obama administration.

It is important for us as we discuss these moral issues that we remember all people are created by God and have been created in His image. Therefore, all people have worth and value. We also need to remember we are living in a nation whose values do not coincide with God’s teaching in His word. We are aliens in a foreign land and this world is not our home. We are called to be salt and light while we are here.

We are called to what God spoke to the people in Babylonian exile through the prophet Jeremiah – read Jeremiah 29:4-14.

As believers we begin with the presupposition that the Bible is God’s Holy inerrant word and is our standard and authority for all of life and we must not compromise God’s ultimate and absolute truth.

We believe that one of the most loving things we can do for others is to consistently speak truth to them with Christ-like love and compassion.

One of the concerns I have with President Obama’s agenda is that we will continue down the slippery slope that we are calling “hate crimes” that may one day lead us to a place where what we are doing through The Sight Ministry becomes illegal because it will be considered hate speech to speak God’s truth about homosexuality and it will be considered hate crimes to carry on the out reach ministry the LORD has called us to.

I do not particularly desire to live my final years of life in prison because of my faith. But I state publically today if that is what I must do then I will gladly serve the LORD in this way.

What we are doing through The Sight Ministry is NOT hatred or bigotry. It is our faith. We believe many have been blinded by the enemy. They are not our enemy but the one who has blinded them and who fights against God is our ultimate enemy. The LORD desires that we each have life and that we have it more abundantly, but the enemy has come to steal, kill and destroy our lives (John 10:10). To embrace a gay-identified life is to miss out on the abundant life that God intends for us and to settle for lesser lovers. God Is Our Lover and there is no other who can compare (I’m reminded of Hosea and Gomer in the book of Hosea and the Song of Solomon).

Will you pray with me on a regular basis for President Obama? Will you pray regularly for me and for what the LORD has called us to do through The Sight Ministry?

As we begin this transition of moving into full-time status your faithful monthly financial support would also be greatly appreciated and is greatly needed today more than ever. If you are not on our mailing list please reply to this email with your mailing address and we will gladly send you our newsletter 6 times a year. You may also contact our treasurer, Joseph Simpson by calling 615-429-5532 or by emailing treasurer@thesightministry.org. All contributions are tax deductible. I assure you, even the smallest of contributions is significant to us and we will receive them with deep gratitude (remember the widow’s mite).

The Sight Ministry board members are: Teresa Sullivan-Chair, Joseph Simpson-Treasurer, David Adcock, Beverly Bounds and Ruse Tucker.

Please remember to click on the link and read this important story White House outlines Obama's pro-homosexual agenda.

My scripture theme for 2009 is: “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

In The Name of Yahweh Gibbor (The LORD Is Our Victorious Warrior),
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782