Sight Ministry News
August 2009
Financial Blessings:
Budget Total for 2009
(Includes staffing and total operating expenses)........$60,000
Monthly Total Required to Meet Budget...................$ 5,000
Current Contribution Patterns for 2009:
January – 9 Individuals Giving.......$1,675 ($3,325)
February – 21 Individuals Giving.....$2,038 ($2,962)
March – 15 Individuals Giving........$2,200 ($2,800)
April – 21 Individuals Giving........$4,372 ($628)
May – 27 Individuals Giving..........$6,565
June – 25 Individuals Giving.........$5,004
July – 24 Individuals Giving.........$4,768 ($232)
Join Us in Prayer As We Seek Where the LORD Is Working
+PRAISE for the way the LORD is providing for the needs of the Sight Ministry.
+PRAISE the LORD for an incredible Exodus Conference and for speaking through my workshop.
+PRAY as we prepare to attend the Love Won Out Conference to be held in Birmingham, AL, November 7. We will have an exhibit
+PRAY for the LORD to show you who He would have you invite to support us.
+PRAY for wisdom as the LORD continues to open eyes of individuals who struggle with same-sex attraction issues and for their family members.
+PRAY for wisdom to minister to individuals and their families, to write articles, to engage churches, and to conduct workshops.
+PRAY For direction in developing a new website.
+PRAY for direction in networking with churches (Exodus Church Network).
+PRAY for participants as we take a summer break from our support groups and as we seek the LORD’s direction for our Fall Semester.
+PRAY for individuals who are just beginning their journey of healing and recovery through one-on-one sessions (there are several).
+PRAY for Martie Rader as she leads our ministry to women.
+PRAY for Tonya Green as she leads our ministry to wives.
+PRAY for Shayne & Christi Gilpin as they lead our Family & Friends ministry.
+PRAY for Allen Hildreth as he leads our branch ministry in Knoxville, TN (Acts12).
+PRAY for the Board of Directors as they seek the LORD’s leading: Teresa Sullivan, Chair, Joseph Simpson, Treasurer, David Adcock, Leigh Ann Dans, and Ruse Tucker.
+PRAY as I serve as the Exodus Southern Gulf Regional Representative.
If you sense the LORD calling you to join Him in what He is doing through The Sight Ministry please use the enclosed envelopes to send us your contributions or you may contact our treasurer, Joseph Simpson: treasurer@thesightministry.org. My email: richard@thesightministry.org & phone: 615-509-0782. Feel free to contact me anytime.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sight Ministry INSight Newsletter (Part B: My Testimony)
Preface: The following article will be new information for some of you and for others there will be some information you may not be aware of. My life is an on-going process of healing, recovery, reconciliation and making amends with every opportunity the LORD gives me. Please feel free to contact me (see contact information following the article) and/or reply to this blog article. I would also be happy to set up a meeting with you if you are interested. May the LORD receive all honor and glory.
Richard Holloman – My Story
Scripture: Matthew 22:36-40; Romans 8:1; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
It is not easy for me to share the story of my life. I still battle with shame and guilt and I sometimes allow the enemy to discourage me as I think about what I have done and as I think about all the people I have hurt. I know the LORD has forgiven me and has called me to a journey of healing, recovery and freedom.
I feel the LORD has called me to a life-time of making amends with every opportunity He allows. I want to use this as an opportunity to apologize to the Church in general and to all Southern Baptists (the denomination in which I was saved and through which I have been serving in ministry since 1969) and to every individual I have offended and hurt. As I share my story my prayer is that the LORD will work reconciliation and healing in the lives of anyone I have hurt.
I know who I truly am in Christ and in His confidence I share what the LORD is doing in my life. He orchestrated my exposure to bring about my healing and to bring glory to His name. May you find hope and redemption in Him.
My Father was an abusive, violent alcoholic. I was terrified of him and I had deep hatred towards him. He died when I was 7 years old and I rejoiced at his passing. I have no memories of my father or my mother ever holding me or verbalizing their love for me. I grew up starving for love, nurture, affirmation and acceptance.
I was physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused by my father. This was unknown to the rest of my family as far as I know. I was introduced to pornography when I was six and was molested by an older boy when I was 9 years old. I suffered from low self-esteem and was extremely shy and felt a deep sense of shame about myself but I couldn’t understand why. As a young boy I felt that no one cared about me or truly loved me. I did not relate to other boys or men and felt more comfortable around girls.
I began acting out sexually with other boys what I had experienced and learned from early childhood sexual abuse. I was only seven years old when I initiated my first sexual encounter with another boy in my neighborhood. I continued a life of acting out throughout my teen years, college years and throughout my adult life until my exposure in 1995.
I made a profession of faith in Christ when I was seventeen years old thinking that God would take away my same sex attraction and my sexual compulsion. As a Christian I became deeply depressed about my dark secrets. No one knew my secrets and I no longer felt I could deal with this darkness. When I was a student in college I made my first attempt to take my life by taking 300 aspirin. I was unconscious for two days and was deathly ill but I survived.
I married when I was twenty one years old because I didn’t want anyone to have any suspicions of my secrets. I also foolishly thought that marriage might make an impact on my longings. Though I married for the wrong reasons I truly loved my wife and tried very hard to be a good husband and father. I was not in a healthy emotional place and was diligent to keep her from ever knowing about my secrets. She was an incredible lady who expressed deep faith in God and was very loyal to me and to our son. I live with regret that I was never honest with my wife concerning my same-sex struggle.
I entered into vocational ministry as a way to medicate my profound longings for affirmation, acceptance, and significance. Through all of this I was acting out homosexually & developed a sexual compulsion that was totally out of control. I was absolutely powerless to stop and out of fear of rejection and condemnation I was not willing to seek help. I didn’t even know help existed. I knew if anyone learned of my dark secrets I would lose everything that gave me significance in life. This resulted in secrecy, deception, living a double life, and shame. The enemy knew if he kept me in this unhealthy place I would never recover.
As I continued my life as a minister I was living a life of duplicity. I was a pastor and a campus minister on a university campus while also acting out homosexually. I was obsessed with deep seated needs for love and acceptance. Fear of losing what significance and value I had earned over my life was crippling and kept me paralyzed. I would often cry myself to sleep at night and would beg God to either heal me or kill me.
I need to make it clear that I do not use my experience of early childhood abuse as an excuse for my behavior. I take full responsibility for what I have done. I did not choose my temptations and longings but I did choose to act out on those longings and I chose to not get help until I came to a place of absolute desperation. I believe the LORD loved me so much He orchestrated my complete exposure to bring me to a place of submission to His will for my life.
While serving as campus minister of a university I was guilty of making inappropriate sexual advances toward a student. After I was reported to university officials I was fired from my position. The university officials had made the assumption that due to my wife’s recent death I must have had a mental and emotional breakdown. They also assumed that this was an isolated experience. I was too ashamed and unhealthy to be honest about the depths of my struggle with same-sex attractions and my life of homosexual behavior. I allowed them to believe their assumptions and I did not disclose truth about my struggles. As a result I missed out on an opportunity to begin a journey of healing and recovery.
But God loved me and heard my cry and He continued pursuing me. The biblical principle is that God will expose our secrets and bring things into the light (1 Corinthians 4:5; Eph. 5:8-13). I always thought if I was ever exposed I would end my life because I thought that would be the very worst thing that could ever happen to me. But it turned out to be the very best thing that happened to me (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28) because God forced me to begin dealing with brokenness and my sinful behavior.
Through a process God orchestrated the full disclosure of a life-time of homosexual behavior on Friday night, November 10, 1995. At this time a group of people confronted me and for the very first time in my life, at age 45, I confessed out loud my life-long battle with same-sex attraction and homosexual behavior.
I hurriedly left that meeting in total humiliation, embarrassment and shame. I pulled my car into the garage and shut the door. I wrote my son a note, grabbed my pillow, went back to the garage and started the engine of my car. I went to sleep on the concrete floor fully expecting to die. I slept through the night and woke up the next morning; the car engine was still running. I wasn’t even nauseous nor did I have a headache from the fumes. I turned off the engine to my car and threw the note away and loaded a rental truck with all my belongings and moved to Nashville.
I started attending Two Rivers Baptist Church and a few weeks later I found myself in the office of the pastor, Dr. Jerry Sutton. I began sharing my story with him with great fear & trembling; I didn’t know how he would respond. This was a big moment in my life. If Dr. Sutton had turned me away I really don’t know what choices I would have made.
Dr. Sutton set up a plan for me to receive counseling through the counseling ministry of the church. The Minister of Counseling introduced me to a book called, “Lifetime Guarantee,” by Bill Gillham. This book made a profound impact on my life. It was through this book that I began to learn about two of the most important truths in life.
I also began an intense therapy program through two other therapists. One was a Christian psychologist who was assigned to me as a result of my suicide attempt. The other was a counselor affiliated with Exodus International. We continued a counseling relationship for three years.
Another spiritual marker involved an evangelist who came to Two Rivers Baptist Church, Ken Freeman. One night his sermon topic was “Whose Your Daddy.” He began the worship service by asking everyone who had never known the love of an earthly father to stand. He then prayed over us. This experience reached a deep longing in my heart. At the close of the service I found myself at the altar crying out and forgiving my father for the first time in my life. A few weeks later I visited my Father’s grave site and spoke to him as if he were there with me. This was a major step in my healing journey. The LORD was showing me that He is my Father.
The most important thing the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is that authentic Christian faith is not about law, works, flesh, or self-effort but about having a personal love relationship with God. Jesus was asked “what is the Greatest Commandment?” His answer is found in Matthew 22:36-40, “to love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. . .” These verses have become my life’s scripture.
Another vital and life-changing truth the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is to embrace and truly believe who GOD has declared me to be in Christ Jesus. This is my true identity. The enemy is out to “steal, kill and to destroy. . .” John 10:10. I believe one of his most effective tools to destroy us is to get us to a place where we believe his lies about who we are rather than believing the truth of who God says we are in Christ.
As I continue to grow in my understanding of these two fundamental truths and as I continually surrender my mind, will and emotions to Him, and as I submit to His truth and Lordship in my life I continue in a process of change, healing and freedom. I am becoming who the LORD says I am. It is an on-going “Great Adventure.” This is a critically important biblical principle that is taught in Romans 7:24-25-8:1, 1 Corinthians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 5:17, and Galatians 2:20.
I have learned that I am not a homosexual, I am not a fag, I am not a queer, and I am not gay, I’m not even ex-gay. I have learned that, in Christ Jesus, I am a righteous son of God, I am justified, I am forgiven, I am holy and blameless, I am perfect, I am accepted and acceptable, I am loved and loveable, and I am a brother to Jesus.
As a result of the redemptive work of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit in my life and the Heavenly Father’s grace and mercy I am no longer being controlled by my sexual appetites and by the lusts of my flesh. In describing my sexual brokenness I can say that what began as a raging forest fire consuming everything in its path has become nothing more than a small flicker of a flame. This is the on-going work that the LORD has done in my life and I have never known greater joy, meaning, hope and purpose.
My journey is not yet complete (which is true for all of us regardless of whatever our struggle/s might be) but I am learning that my chief purpose is “to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever” and I know that I will never be the same again!
In the Name of Yahweh Gibbor (the LORD is Our Victorious Warrior),
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org
Richard Holloman – My Story
Scripture: Matthew 22:36-40; Romans 8:1; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
It is not easy for me to share the story of my life. I still battle with shame and guilt and I sometimes allow the enemy to discourage me as I think about what I have done and as I think about all the people I have hurt. I know the LORD has forgiven me and has called me to a journey of healing, recovery and freedom.
I feel the LORD has called me to a life-time of making amends with every opportunity He allows. I want to use this as an opportunity to apologize to the Church in general and to all Southern Baptists (the denomination in which I was saved and through which I have been serving in ministry since 1969) and to every individual I have offended and hurt. As I share my story my prayer is that the LORD will work reconciliation and healing in the lives of anyone I have hurt.
I know who I truly am in Christ and in His confidence I share what the LORD is doing in my life. He orchestrated my exposure to bring about my healing and to bring glory to His name. May you find hope and redemption in Him.
My Father was an abusive, violent alcoholic. I was terrified of him and I had deep hatred towards him. He died when I was 7 years old and I rejoiced at his passing. I have no memories of my father or my mother ever holding me or verbalizing their love for me. I grew up starving for love, nurture, affirmation and acceptance.
I was physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused by my father. This was unknown to the rest of my family as far as I know. I was introduced to pornography when I was six and was molested by an older boy when I was 9 years old. I suffered from low self-esteem and was extremely shy and felt a deep sense of shame about myself but I couldn’t understand why. As a young boy I felt that no one cared about me or truly loved me. I did not relate to other boys or men and felt more comfortable around girls.
I began acting out sexually with other boys what I had experienced and learned from early childhood sexual abuse. I was only seven years old when I initiated my first sexual encounter with another boy in my neighborhood. I continued a life of acting out throughout my teen years, college years and throughout my adult life until my exposure in 1995.
I made a profession of faith in Christ when I was seventeen years old thinking that God would take away my same sex attraction and my sexual compulsion. As a Christian I became deeply depressed about my dark secrets. No one knew my secrets and I no longer felt I could deal with this darkness. When I was a student in college I made my first attempt to take my life by taking 300 aspirin. I was unconscious for two days and was deathly ill but I survived.
I married when I was twenty one years old because I didn’t want anyone to have any suspicions of my secrets. I also foolishly thought that marriage might make an impact on my longings. Though I married for the wrong reasons I truly loved my wife and tried very hard to be a good husband and father. I was not in a healthy emotional place and was diligent to keep her from ever knowing about my secrets. She was an incredible lady who expressed deep faith in God and was very loyal to me and to our son. I live with regret that I was never honest with my wife concerning my same-sex struggle.
I entered into vocational ministry as a way to medicate my profound longings for affirmation, acceptance, and significance. Through all of this I was acting out homosexually & developed a sexual compulsion that was totally out of control. I was absolutely powerless to stop and out of fear of rejection and condemnation I was not willing to seek help. I didn’t even know help existed. I knew if anyone learned of my dark secrets I would lose everything that gave me significance in life. This resulted in secrecy, deception, living a double life, and shame. The enemy knew if he kept me in this unhealthy place I would never recover.
As I continued my life as a minister I was living a life of duplicity. I was a pastor and a campus minister on a university campus while also acting out homosexually. I was obsessed with deep seated needs for love and acceptance. Fear of losing what significance and value I had earned over my life was crippling and kept me paralyzed. I would often cry myself to sleep at night and would beg God to either heal me or kill me.
I need to make it clear that I do not use my experience of early childhood abuse as an excuse for my behavior. I take full responsibility for what I have done. I did not choose my temptations and longings but I did choose to act out on those longings and I chose to not get help until I came to a place of absolute desperation. I believe the LORD loved me so much He orchestrated my complete exposure to bring me to a place of submission to His will for my life.
While serving as campus minister of a university I was guilty of making inappropriate sexual advances toward a student. After I was reported to university officials I was fired from my position. The university officials had made the assumption that due to my wife’s recent death I must have had a mental and emotional breakdown. They also assumed that this was an isolated experience. I was too ashamed and unhealthy to be honest about the depths of my struggle with same-sex attractions and my life of homosexual behavior. I allowed them to believe their assumptions and I did not disclose truth about my struggles. As a result I missed out on an opportunity to begin a journey of healing and recovery.
But God loved me and heard my cry and He continued pursuing me. The biblical principle is that God will expose our secrets and bring things into the light (1 Corinthians 4:5; Eph. 5:8-13). I always thought if I was ever exposed I would end my life because I thought that would be the very worst thing that could ever happen to me. But it turned out to be the very best thing that happened to me (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28) because God forced me to begin dealing with brokenness and my sinful behavior.
Through a process God orchestrated the full disclosure of a life-time of homosexual behavior on Friday night, November 10, 1995. At this time a group of people confronted me and for the very first time in my life, at age 45, I confessed out loud my life-long battle with same-sex attraction and homosexual behavior.
I hurriedly left that meeting in total humiliation, embarrassment and shame. I pulled my car into the garage and shut the door. I wrote my son a note, grabbed my pillow, went back to the garage and started the engine of my car. I went to sleep on the concrete floor fully expecting to die. I slept through the night and woke up the next morning; the car engine was still running. I wasn’t even nauseous nor did I have a headache from the fumes. I turned off the engine to my car and threw the note away and loaded a rental truck with all my belongings and moved to Nashville.
I started attending Two Rivers Baptist Church and a few weeks later I found myself in the office of the pastor, Dr. Jerry Sutton. I began sharing my story with him with great fear & trembling; I didn’t know how he would respond. This was a big moment in my life. If Dr. Sutton had turned me away I really don’t know what choices I would have made.
Dr. Sutton set up a plan for me to receive counseling through the counseling ministry of the church. The Minister of Counseling introduced me to a book called, “Lifetime Guarantee,” by Bill Gillham. This book made a profound impact on my life. It was through this book that I began to learn about two of the most important truths in life.
I also began an intense therapy program through two other therapists. One was a Christian psychologist who was assigned to me as a result of my suicide attempt. The other was a counselor affiliated with Exodus International. We continued a counseling relationship for three years.
Another spiritual marker involved an evangelist who came to Two Rivers Baptist Church, Ken Freeman. One night his sermon topic was “Whose Your Daddy.” He began the worship service by asking everyone who had never known the love of an earthly father to stand. He then prayed over us. This experience reached a deep longing in my heart. At the close of the service I found myself at the altar crying out and forgiving my father for the first time in my life. A few weeks later I visited my Father’s grave site and spoke to him as if he were there with me. This was a major step in my healing journey. The LORD was showing me that He is my Father.
The most important thing the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is that authentic Christian faith is not about law, works, flesh, or self-effort but about having a personal love relationship with God. Jesus was asked “what is the Greatest Commandment?” His answer is found in Matthew 22:36-40, “to love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. . .” These verses have become my life’s scripture.
Another vital and life-changing truth the LORD is teaching me through my recovery process is to embrace and truly believe who GOD has declared me to be in Christ Jesus. This is my true identity. The enemy is out to “steal, kill and to destroy. . .” John 10:10. I believe one of his most effective tools to destroy us is to get us to a place where we believe his lies about who we are rather than believing the truth of who God says we are in Christ.
As I continue to grow in my understanding of these two fundamental truths and as I continually surrender my mind, will and emotions to Him, and as I submit to His truth and Lordship in my life I continue in a process of change, healing and freedom. I am becoming who the LORD says I am. It is an on-going “Great Adventure.” This is a critically important biblical principle that is taught in Romans 7:24-25-8:1, 1 Corinthians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 5:17, and Galatians 2:20.
I have learned that I am not a homosexual, I am not a fag, I am not a queer, and I am not gay, I’m not even ex-gay. I have learned that, in Christ Jesus, I am a righteous son of God, I am justified, I am forgiven, I am holy and blameless, I am perfect, I am accepted and acceptable, I am loved and loveable, and I am a brother to Jesus.
As a result of the redemptive work of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit in my life and the Heavenly Father’s grace and mercy I am no longer being controlled by my sexual appetites and by the lusts of my flesh. In describing my sexual brokenness I can say that what began as a raging forest fire consuming everything in its path has become nothing more than a small flicker of a flame. This is the on-going work that the LORD has done in my life and I have never known greater joy, meaning, hope and purpose.
My journey is not yet complete (which is true for all of us regardless of whatever our struggle/s might be) but I am learning that my chief purpose is “to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever” and I know that I will never be the same again!
In the Name of Yahweh Gibbor (the LORD is Our Victorious Warrior),
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org
Monday, July 13, 2009
Simon the Magician: The Peril of Pursuing Greatness
Some of my reading tonight included a great little article by Jon Bloom, Executive Director of DesiringGod (John Piper's ministry). I wanted to share part of it because I think it really speaks to what many pastors and church leaders may be guilty of. This would be a good warning to us as we strive to build our own little kingdoms instead of making certain that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ (1 Peter 4:11).
We must heed the Bible's warning in Acts 8: if we attempt great things so that others will see us as great, we are in grave spiritual peril.
After Stephen had been brutally stoned to death, intense persecution broke out against the Christians in Jerusalem. Many were driven off to the towns and villages of Judea and Samaria.
Few saw these horrible events as a means Jesus was using to fulfill His word: ". . .you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Sanmaria" (Acts 1:8). We don't need to lose heart when the world's hostility towards Christians increases, JESUS WILL NOT LOSE! Every time the world tries to stamp out the gospel, the gospel spreads.
Philip, Stephen's co-servant to the Hellenistic widows, headed to Samaria and preached and performed signs and wonders in a city there. Large numbers of Samaritans professed faith and were baptized. A man named Simon was one of them.
Simon was a local celebrity. He was a magician of sorts, and had mesmerized the locals with his arts. They had given him the title The Great Power of God. And he LOVED it. he basked in his reputation and fed off the admiration and respect he received.
But when Philip arrived, the game changed. The gospel Philip preached and the signs he performed were beyond Simon's abilities. Simon watched with covetous awe as the real, great power of God flowed through Philip.
Then Peter and John showed up from Jerusalem. And when they prayed, people were filled withe the Holy Spirit. This drew even more crowds. Everyone was talking about them. Everyone was mesmerized by them.
No one was mesmerized by Simon anymore. He was a has-been, a dkiminishing star. And like many who have once experienced the euphoric drug of other people's adoration, he wanted that rush again. If he could somehow get this Jesus power, then once again he could be great. He was willing to pay a high price for that drug.
So at a discreet moment, he approached Peter and John with a proposition. If they would let him in on the secret they possessed, if they would share their power with him, a small fortune in silver would be theirs and no one would ever know.
Peter's eyes seemed to burn right into Simon's heart. And then Peter's words seemed to slice him open: "May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the LORD that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity (Acts 8:20-23).
Peter's words to Simon were not merely harsh. They were full of mercy. The love of self-glory is an extremely dangerous cancer of the soul and is spiritually fata if not addressed. This cancer requires a straightforward, serious diagnosis.
This account is in the Bible so that we will remember that God's power is not a commodity tlo be traded. It's not a means for us to pursue our own greatness or wealth.
We can all relate to Simon. We are all tempted to pursue our own glory, even in the work of the kingdom. It was a major driving force in my life for many years as I sought affirmation and acceptance.
When we recognize that familiar craving we need to deal severely with it. We must confess confess it (often to others, not just God), repent, and resist. Because if left alone, it can develop into a spiritual cancer that can bind us to real glory, and may ultimatley kill us.
Let us take Peter's advice and do all that we do "by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 4:11). God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
In The Name of the One and Only True and Living God,
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
We must heed the Bible's warning in Acts 8: if we attempt great things so that others will see us as great, we are in grave spiritual peril.
After Stephen had been brutally stoned to death, intense persecution broke out against the Christians in Jerusalem. Many were driven off to the towns and villages of Judea and Samaria.
Few saw these horrible events as a means Jesus was using to fulfill His word: ". . .you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Sanmaria" (Acts 1:8). We don't need to lose heart when the world's hostility towards Christians increases, JESUS WILL NOT LOSE! Every time the world tries to stamp out the gospel, the gospel spreads.
Philip, Stephen's co-servant to the Hellenistic widows, headed to Samaria and preached and performed signs and wonders in a city there. Large numbers of Samaritans professed faith and were baptized. A man named Simon was one of them.
Simon was a local celebrity. He was a magician of sorts, and had mesmerized the locals with his arts. They had given him the title The Great Power of God. And he LOVED it. he basked in his reputation and fed off the admiration and respect he received.
But when Philip arrived, the game changed. The gospel Philip preached and the signs he performed were beyond Simon's abilities. Simon watched with covetous awe as the real, great power of God flowed through Philip.
Then Peter and John showed up from Jerusalem. And when they prayed, people were filled withe the Holy Spirit. This drew even more crowds. Everyone was talking about them. Everyone was mesmerized by them.
No one was mesmerized by Simon anymore. He was a has-been, a dkiminishing star. And like many who have once experienced the euphoric drug of other people's adoration, he wanted that rush again. If he could somehow get this Jesus power, then once again he could be great. He was willing to pay a high price for that drug.
So at a discreet moment, he approached Peter and John with a proposition. If they would let him in on the secret they possessed, if they would share their power with him, a small fortune in silver would be theirs and no one would ever know.
Peter's eyes seemed to burn right into Simon's heart. And then Peter's words seemed to slice him open: "May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the LORD that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity (Acts 8:20-23).
Peter's words to Simon were not merely harsh. They were full of mercy. The love of self-glory is an extremely dangerous cancer of the soul and is spiritually fata if not addressed. This cancer requires a straightforward, serious diagnosis.
This account is in the Bible so that we will remember that God's power is not a commodity tlo be traded. It's not a means for us to pursue our own greatness or wealth.
We can all relate to Simon. We are all tempted to pursue our own glory, even in the work of the kingdom. It was a major driving force in my life for many years as I sought affirmation and acceptance.
When we recognize that familiar craving we need to deal severely with it. We must confess confess it (often to others, not just God), repent, and resist. Because if left alone, it can develop into a spiritual cancer that can bind us to real glory, and may ultimatley kill us.
Let us take Peter's advice and do all that we do "by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 4:11). God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
In The Name of the One and Only True and Living God,
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Monday, June 22, 2009
A Young Man's Battle With Homosexuality and Aids
The following is a life story of a young man who has been involved in the Sight Ministry in Nashville, TN. For more information contact:
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nasvhille, TN 37214
615-509-0782
ricahrd@thesightministry.org
“From Lust to Divine Love and a Little of the In Between and the Now...”
My name is Bradley. I am 26 years old and I come from a small town in West Tennessee where I was raised in a very strict Christian home. I always knew of the love of God from what I read in my Bible and from what I heard every Wednesday and Sunday in church. . .I’m sure many of you had similar upbringings. It has taken me until now to appreciate this gift as I never seemed to grasp the concept of God’s love and only half believed the teachings I was so readily given.
Early on I found myself needy and it seemed I had a hole in my soul. One would think with how regularly I attended church and was part of the community I would have most certainly found the one and only thing that can fill this void. But, sadly, I never found it during this season of my life. As I grew older I began realizing that there was something different about me. Something inside me told me it was wrong and I felt a deep sense of shame. I didn’t understand where it came from nor did I even know what it was inside me, but I knew it was something strong. I cried many nights and prayed for God to change me. Eventually the truth of what I was becoming was revealed when I began to act out in different ways from other teenagers and I began having my first sexual relations with other boys and men and having false amorous feelings for them. I confused lust with love for a very long time because even though I didn’t realize it I had not allowed the love of God to capture me.
I was a hardheaded and rebellious teenager during the 90’s. I can remember MTV strongly encouraging all homosexuals to come out of the closet. . .and so I came out when I was only 15 years old. The backlash from my family and my church was severe. A deacon’s wife even asked me to not come back to church. Even though I self-created this I felt I was being persecuted and attacked so I retaliated. I turned my back against God and I became a practitioner of witch craft and never wanted to hear the word God or Christ again. My life got crazier from that point on.
I could no longer get along with my parents and I left for college. I was very arrogant and flamboyant and I dared someone to look at me in a wrong way. I was always angry and hateful things continually spewed from my mouth. I was suspended from college. I spent my time trolling the gay bars looking for men. Eventually I fell into drugs.
Before long I was a bitter and lonely cocaine addict. It was then that I thought I got my big break. A “modeling” scout from California filled my head with dreams of being a “model.” I ended up becoming a star alright but I never dreamed it would be a porn star. I ended up getting involved in the sex industry. Before I knew it I was in five different films and my face was plastered on the internet. At the time I felt good and my ego was greatly inflated by what I was doing. Until I came home.
At home people treated me differently and I fell into a deep state of depression. I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded. When I awoke the first words out of my mouth were curses against God for not allowing me to die.
Soon after that I tested positive for HIV. I hit an even deeper state of depression. I felt life was over. My emotions were so numb I couldn’t even cry. Without God to guide me I did the only thing I knew to do. I ran to hide in the gay underworld. I spent my nights and days drinking heavily, doing large amounts of cocaine, popping pills and engaging in wild and anonymous sex with so many partners I have no way of counting.
Eventually, I began noticing a strange pull deep inside of my heart from somewhere. I had a sense that this hole in my heart could be filled but I ignored it and I continued to indulge in all of the tools of my flesh since that was all I knew. My life belonged to the darkness and that’s where I stayed for seven years.
Then one day I awoke and found myself in a blood soaked bed. The blood was from my own face. I walked to the mirror and looked at my reflection and was so shocked at what I saw I cried out in horror. I was covered in blood. My eyes were sunken in and bloodshot and my frail 112 lb body looked like a living skeleton. At that moment I dropped to my knees in tears and I prayed and I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life for deliverance from this self imposed hell in which I had become lost.
God answered! He simply said, “Wait.” I became strangely still and then I felt calmness come over me. The LORD spoke and said, “Call your Mother now, she knows your suffering. . . ask for help.” So I called my Mother. We were not on good terms because I had mistreated my family so horribly with my own selfishness and headstrong desire to live my lifestyle as I saw fit. I was living a self-absorbed life of hedonism and debauchery. When my Mother answered the phone she was surprisingly warm and told me she knew that I needed help but she was waiting for my call.
And I did get help. I was taken to a Christian-based rehab facility in Nashville where I not only dealt with my addiction but I dealt with my own demons and rebuilt my relationship with God. For the first time in my life He filled me with love, empathy, sympathy and most importantly I felt I belonged.
I left the rehab facility with Christ as my Savior and my very best friend Who would be faithful to guide me. I did not relapse into that hedonistic lifestyle. However, I will be honest and tell you that I continued to struggle with homosexual temptations and experienced failures along the journey. I am no longer being controlled by my temptations and there is a voice inside of me that reminds me of the futility of embracing such a dark lifestyle. For me it was full of misery, anger, stress, sickness, and addiction. Those things always scare me and bring me to a place where I cry out to the LORD for strength and for truth. I may always struggle with this at some level but I know one thing, God loves me wholeheartedly and will be there with me during every struggle.
Now that I’ve shared with you my struggles with sin and the transition out of it, I want to share some very good news. I have been HIV positive since I was 18 years old. I am currently on no medications. I have fallen into AIDS status twice in my life and my body miraculously healed and fought off the infection each time. According to what doctors are telling me this is not the norm. They are interested in studying my blood for genetic markers to see where this amazing ability my blood seems to have to fight the disease comes from. I don’t need their answer to know this, it’s clear to me. . . God has done this for me and this is only one of the great miracles He has brought to my life and I thank Him and praise Him often for it.
I pray my story may touch one life and bring encouragement to who ever might read what the LORD has done in me.
Trusting Him,
Bradley
Richard Holloman
The Sight Ministry
PO Box 140808
Nasvhille, TN 37214
615-509-0782
ricahrd@thesightministry.org
“From Lust to Divine Love and a Little of the In Between and the Now...”
My name is Bradley. I am 26 years old and I come from a small town in West Tennessee where I was raised in a very strict Christian home. I always knew of the love of God from what I read in my Bible and from what I heard every Wednesday and Sunday in church. . .I’m sure many of you had similar upbringings. It has taken me until now to appreciate this gift as I never seemed to grasp the concept of God’s love and only half believed the teachings I was so readily given.
Early on I found myself needy and it seemed I had a hole in my soul. One would think with how regularly I attended church and was part of the community I would have most certainly found the one and only thing that can fill this void. But, sadly, I never found it during this season of my life. As I grew older I began realizing that there was something different about me. Something inside me told me it was wrong and I felt a deep sense of shame. I didn’t understand where it came from nor did I even know what it was inside me, but I knew it was something strong. I cried many nights and prayed for God to change me. Eventually the truth of what I was becoming was revealed when I began to act out in different ways from other teenagers and I began having my first sexual relations with other boys and men and having false amorous feelings for them. I confused lust with love for a very long time because even though I didn’t realize it I had not allowed the love of God to capture me.
I was a hardheaded and rebellious teenager during the 90’s. I can remember MTV strongly encouraging all homosexuals to come out of the closet. . .and so I came out when I was only 15 years old. The backlash from my family and my church was severe. A deacon’s wife even asked me to not come back to church. Even though I self-created this I felt I was being persecuted and attacked so I retaliated. I turned my back against God and I became a practitioner of witch craft and never wanted to hear the word God or Christ again. My life got crazier from that point on.
I could no longer get along with my parents and I left for college. I was very arrogant and flamboyant and I dared someone to look at me in a wrong way. I was always angry and hateful things continually spewed from my mouth. I was suspended from college. I spent my time trolling the gay bars looking for men. Eventually I fell into drugs.
Before long I was a bitter and lonely cocaine addict. It was then that I thought I got my big break. A “modeling” scout from California filled my head with dreams of being a “model.” I ended up becoming a star alright but I never dreamed it would be a porn star. I ended up getting involved in the sex industry. Before I knew it I was in five different films and my face was plastered on the internet. At the time I felt good and my ego was greatly inflated by what I was doing. Until I came home.
At home people treated me differently and I fell into a deep state of depression. I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded. When I awoke the first words out of my mouth were curses against God for not allowing me to die.
Soon after that I tested positive for HIV. I hit an even deeper state of depression. I felt life was over. My emotions were so numb I couldn’t even cry. Without God to guide me I did the only thing I knew to do. I ran to hide in the gay underworld. I spent my nights and days drinking heavily, doing large amounts of cocaine, popping pills and engaging in wild and anonymous sex with so many partners I have no way of counting.
Eventually, I began noticing a strange pull deep inside of my heart from somewhere. I had a sense that this hole in my heart could be filled but I ignored it and I continued to indulge in all of the tools of my flesh since that was all I knew. My life belonged to the darkness and that’s where I stayed for seven years.
Then one day I awoke and found myself in a blood soaked bed. The blood was from my own face. I walked to the mirror and looked at my reflection and was so shocked at what I saw I cried out in horror. I was covered in blood. My eyes were sunken in and bloodshot and my frail 112 lb body looked like a living skeleton. At that moment I dropped to my knees in tears and I prayed and I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life for deliverance from this self imposed hell in which I had become lost.
God answered! He simply said, “Wait.” I became strangely still and then I felt calmness come over me. The LORD spoke and said, “Call your Mother now, she knows your suffering. . . ask for help.” So I called my Mother. We were not on good terms because I had mistreated my family so horribly with my own selfishness and headstrong desire to live my lifestyle as I saw fit. I was living a self-absorbed life of hedonism and debauchery. When my Mother answered the phone she was surprisingly warm and told me she knew that I needed help but she was waiting for my call.
And I did get help. I was taken to a Christian-based rehab facility in Nashville where I not only dealt with my addiction but I dealt with my own demons and rebuilt my relationship with God. For the first time in my life He filled me with love, empathy, sympathy and most importantly I felt I belonged.
I left the rehab facility with Christ as my Savior and my very best friend Who would be faithful to guide me. I did not relapse into that hedonistic lifestyle. However, I will be honest and tell you that I continued to struggle with homosexual temptations and experienced failures along the journey. I am no longer being controlled by my temptations and there is a voice inside of me that reminds me of the futility of embracing such a dark lifestyle. For me it was full of misery, anger, stress, sickness, and addiction. Those things always scare me and bring me to a place where I cry out to the LORD for strength and for truth. I may always struggle with this at some level but I know one thing, God loves me wholeheartedly and will be there with me during every struggle.
Now that I’ve shared with you my struggles with sin and the transition out of it, I want to share some very good news. I have been HIV positive since I was 18 years old. I am currently on no medications. I have fallen into AIDS status twice in my life and my body miraculously healed and fought off the infection each time. According to what doctors are telling me this is not the norm. They are interested in studying my blood for genetic markers to see where this amazing ability my blood seems to have to fight the disease comes from. I don’t need their answer to know this, it’s clear to me. . . God has done this for me and this is only one of the great miracles He has brought to my life and I thank Him and praise Him often for it.
I pray my story may touch one life and bring encouragement to who ever might read what the LORD has done in me.
Trusting Him,
Bradley
Monday, April 13, 2009
Crazy Love, by Francis Chan
On the back cover of the book, "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan:
"Have you ever wondered if we're missing it?It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe--the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor--loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? we go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss.
Whether you've verbalized it yet or not. . .we all know something's wrong.
Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? are you hungry for an AUTHENTIC (there's my word!) faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts--it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, you will never be the same.
Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."
This is me -- My spirit and heart really resonates with this. I have been speaking this for several years but I feel I haven't been able to express my heart clearly. I've actually been yelled at by some as I've tried to express this thought.
Several years ago the LORD gave me Matthew 22:36-40 as my life's scripture passage. It is so very profound. I have been focusing on it ever since and have not even come close to beginning to comprehend that kind of love for God and for others. Yet Jesus clearly taught this as THE MOST IMPORTANT COMMAND. . .the most important focus of our lives for all eternity.
Even the cover of the book uses a simple diagram of an arrow pointing upward referring to our vertical love for God and an arrow pointing downward representing His radical unconditional love for you and me. I have always made one line with arrows at each end, one pointing up and the other pointing down. Then I would draw a horizontal line crossing the verticle line with arrows on each end of it as well, representing our love for one another. Not surprisingly it forms a cross which represents the greatest symbol of love and sacrifice the world has ever known.
I AM HIS DESIRE! He is the LOVER OF MY SOUL!
This great truth addresses every issue that humanity has ever experienced or ever will experience. Every solution to every problem is ultimately answered and resolved through this greatest of all truths! In this truth we learn and are staggered by WHO GOD IS (the vertricle arrows)and in this truth our GOD reveals our true identity (the horizontal arrows).
We come to understand that simple Sunday School answer really and trully is THE ANSWER -- JESUS!!! It's Jesus! The answer IS JESUS! He is the Answer of answers!
I can't wait to read this book. I'm certain you will hear more about this soon!
Longing to be most satisfied in Him!
Richard Holloman
The Sight Minisgtry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org
"Have you ever wondered if we're missing it?It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe--the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor--loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? we go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss.
Whether you've verbalized it yet or not. . .we all know something's wrong.
Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? are you hungry for an AUTHENTIC (there's my word!) faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts--it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, you will never be the same.
Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."
This is me -- My spirit and heart really resonates with this. I have been speaking this for several years but I feel I haven't been able to express my heart clearly. I've actually been yelled at by some as I've tried to express this thought.
Several years ago the LORD gave me Matthew 22:36-40 as my life's scripture passage. It is so very profound. I have been focusing on it ever since and have not even come close to beginning to comprehend that kind of love for God and for others. Yet Jesus clearly taught this as THE MOST IMPORTANT COMMAND. . .the most important focus of our lives for all eternity.
Even the cover of the book uses a simple diagram of an arrow pointing upward referring to our vertical love for God and an arrow pointing downward representing His radical unconditional love for you and me. I have always made one line with arrows at each end, one pointing up and the other pointing down. Then I would draw a horizontal line crossing the verticle line with arrows on each end of it as well, representing our love for one another. Not surprisingly it forms a cross which represents the greatest symbol of love and sacrifice the world has ever known.
I AM HIS DESIRE! He is the LOVER OF MY SOUL!
This great truth addresses every issue that humanity has ever experienced or ever will experience. Every solution to every problem is ultimately answered and resolved through this greatest of all truths! In this truth we learn and are staggered by WHO GOD IS (the vertricle arrows)and in this truth our GOD reveals our true identity (the horizontal arrows).
We come to understand that simple Sunday School answer really and trully is THE ANSWER -- JESUS!!! It's Jesus! The answer IS JESUS! He is the Answer of answers!
I can't wait to read this book. I'm certain you will hear more about this soon!
Longing to be most satisfied in Him!
Richard Holloman
The Sight Minisgtry
PO Box 140808
Nashville, TN 37214
615-509-0782
Email: richard@thesightministry.org
Friday, April 3, 2009
Christians: The New Social Outcasts
This is a thought provoking article written by Alan Chambers, President of Exodus International. I have also posted a comment following his article.
Christians: The New Social Outcasts
Alan Chambers Columns - Let's Get Real
I was an outcast in the 6th grade. I've told more than one person that I wouldn't go back to that time in my life for all the money in the world. That was the year my classmates got downright mean. We've all heard the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," but many of us know from personal experience that they can. Words can wound our spirits and create fear and isolation. Some of the 6th graders in my class knew this all too well and used it to their advantage.
One day after school, I boarded my bus and was waiting for it to take me home. There were around twenty other busloads of students waiting to do the same thing. One of my classmates leaned out his window so hundreds of kids could see and hear him. He started speaking in a mocking, effeminate manner that was clearly meant to emulate that of a "gay" person's voice. He then called out my name - waving and pointing. The message was clear, "Alan is gay." My entire bus just looked at me. Kids on the other buses did the same. They began to point and laugh. I endured more incidents like that than I care to recall.
As I transitioned to junior high and high school, I did a lot to repackage my image and worked hard to overcome anything that would hint that I might be gay. I'm not sure I did a great job, but most of my classmates finally decided they liked me. In my early adulthood, I began to seriously consider how to deal with my struggle with same-sex attraction. The world around me was shifting. The culture's beliefs and attitudes about homosexuality were changing. What had long been the position of Hollywood started rubbing off on Main Street. Eventually, after trying it I decided that Hollywood's views were based on the illusion of a contented gay life that conflicted with my deepest beliefs. I turned to the ministry I now lead, Exodus International, for support and they helped me unravel scars from the past and inspired me with hopes for the future.
It was during this time of transition that one of my classmates told me that the leader of the cruel attacks I endured in 6th grade had come out as gay himself. I did feel some empathy for him, but the fact that he was launching an all out verbal assault on me while he was struggling with the same issues was tough to reconcile. He was the most popular, accepted kid in our class and could have used his popularity to help me, a "geek," but instead shunned me and encouraged others to do the same. I guess insecure people often displace their insecurity by demonizing others.
Fast forward more than twenty years later to now - where the social climate as well as the opportunity for rejection is still changing and evolving. We now have various social networking sites such as YouTube, MySpace and Facebook. For those of you who aren't familiar with Facebook, you have to send or receive a "friend request" in order to connect with someone. I've sent and received many from old classmates - good friends and casual acquaintances. One day as I was perusing my list of friends, I noticed that two of my good buddies from high school had all of the sudden disappeared from my "friend" list. I wondered if it had anything to do with my "controversial" life or my "controversial" career. So I e-mailed them and asked. My suspicions were confirmed. Talk about hypocritical. I have 1,300 friends on Facebook (sarcastic "Woo Hoo!" to follow) many of whom by no means live moral lives, vote the way I would or even believe in God. I know several who are openly gay and others who outright reject my faith. I choose to befriend those who are diametrically opposed to the life I have chosen to live and yet I am rejected for my "bigoted" and "intolerant" views.
People of faith who choose to surrender their sexuality to Christ and who choose to live their lives in a way that is different than the culture's new normal are now the new social outcasts. It's obvious that people of faith in general are in the same category. I was just reading that California's Prop. 8 opponents are now circulating maps identifying the personal homes of individuals who financially supported Prop. 8 in order to harass their families and shame their views! Unbelievable.
Many students will risk the rejection of their peers and subject themselves to outright discrimination on April 20 to stand up for biblical truth on campuses nationwide on the Day of Truth. This annual event originated five years ago to affirm every students' constitutional right to free speech and to provide an opportunity to have an honest conversation about sexuality. These students will courageously join their voices with the more than 13,000 others who in years past have done just that. I stand with them as someone who has experienced the freedom truth brings and I am reminded that we are in good company. Jesus was a social outcast. He told us we would be too in 1 John 3:13, "Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you," and in John 15:18, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." He considered us worth the rejection of the world. May we consider those who reject us worth the same.
Alan Chambers is the President of Exodus International, the largest worldwide Christian outreach to those dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction and the author of two books - God's Grace & the Homosexual Next Door and Leaving Homosexuality. http://www.exodusinternational.org/
Richard Holloman said:
The Church Gets a D- At BestMuch of the current anomosity that is directed toward Exodus ministries and many churches by individuals who are gay-identified stems from the fact that the Church in general has done a very poor job in loving and understanding those of us who have strugged with or who experience same-sex attraction issues. The church has been excellent at pointing out sinfulness but has been greatly lacking in the area of being redemptive or understanding toward those who deal with SSA. This is totally unfortunate becasue Exodus International and those who serve with Exodus International and in ministries affiliated with Exodus International are striving to be Christ-like in compassion, love and understanding toward those who deal with SSA. Much of what we have heard through the media and by some gay-embracing individuals has been unfair and untrue. Exodus International and affiliating ministries simply believe the Bible teaches that any sexual behavior outside of marriage between one biological male and one biological female is contrary to God's plan and purposes and is sinful. This is not hatred. It is our faith. If this is truly what we believe then not to speak out would be the unloving thing. The question is what does the Bible really teach. The bottom line for Exodus ministries and most believers is this is biblical truth and is not up for debate. Some who disagree have chosen to be unfair and charge us with hatred, hate speech and homophobs. This also is just as unfortunate as is how the church in the past has dealt with ssa issues. The ironic thing about this is Exodus International and those involved with Exodus ministries have a desire to challenge the Church to become more biblical in dealing with this issue and more Christ-like in responding to those who are hurting. Jesus calls us to a radical love that is unconditional and comes absolutely from His Spirit within us. Therefore, I don't care who you are, where you've been, or what you have done . . . I love you and accept you where you're at. I will walk with you and will pray that you don't remain there.
Christians: The New Social Outcasts
Alan Chambers Columns - Let's Get Real
I was an outcast in the 6th grade. I've told more than one person that I wouldn't go back to that time in my life for all the money in the world. That was the year my classmates got downright mean. We've all heard the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," but many of us know from personal experience that they can. Words can wound our spirits and create fear and isolation. Some of the 6th graders in my class knew this all too well and used it to their advantage.
One day after school, I boarded my bus and was waiting for it to take me home. There were around twenty other busloads of students waiting to do the same thing. One of my classmates leaned out his window so hundreds of kids could see and hear him. He started speaking in a mocking, effeminate manner that was clearly meant to emulate that of a "gay" person's voice. He then called out my name - waving and pointing. The message was clear, "Alan is gay." My entire bus just looked at me. Kids on the other buses did the same. They began to point and laugh. I endured more incidents like that than I care to recall.
As I transitioned to junior high and high school, I did a lot to repackage my image and worked hard to overcome anything that would hint that I might be gay. I'm not sure I did a great job, but most of my classmates finally decided they liked me. In my early adulthood, I began to seriously consider how to deal with my struggle with same-sex attraction. The world around me was shifting. The culture's beliefs and attitudes about homosexuality were changing. What had long been the position of Hollywood started rubbing off on Main Street. Eventually, after trying it I decided that Hollywood's views were based on the illusion of a contented gay life that conflicted with my deepest beliefs. I turned to the ministry I now lead, Exodus International, for support and they helped me unravel scars from the past and inspired me with hopes for the future.
It was during this time of transition that one of my classmates told me that the leader of the cruel attacks I endured in 6th grade had come out as gay himself. I did feel some empathy for him, but the fact that he was launching an all out verbal assault on me while he was struggling with the same issues was tough to reconcile. He was the most popular, accepted kid in our class and could have used his popularity to help me, a "geek," but instead shunned me and encouraged others to do the same. I guess insecure people often displace their insecurity by demonizing others.
Fast forward more than twenty years later to now - where the social climate as well as the opportunity for rejection is still changing and evolving. We now have various social networking sites such as YouTube, MySpace and Facebook. For those of you who aren't familiar with Facebook, you have to send or receive a "friend request" in order to connect with someone. I've sent and received many from old classmates - good friends and casual acquaintances. One day as I was perusing my list of friends, I noticed that two of my good buddies from high school had all of the sudden disappeared from my "friend" list. I wondered if it had anything to do with my "controversial" life or my "controversial" career. So I e-mailed them and asked. My suspicions were confirmed. Talk about hypocritical. I have 1,300 friends on Facebook (sarcastic "Woo Hoo!" to follow) many of whom by no means live moral lives, vote the way I would or even believe in God. I know several who are openly gay and others who outright reject my faith. I choose to befriend those who are diametrically opposed to the life I have chosen to live and yet I am rejected for my "bigoted" and "intolerant" views.
People of faith who choose to surrender their sexuality to Christ and who choose to live their lives in a way that is different than the culture's new normal are now the new social outcasts. It's obvious that people of faith in general are in the same category. I was just reading that California's Prop. 8 opponents are now circulating maps identifying the personal homes of individuals who financially supported Prop. 8 in order to harass their families and shame their views! Unbelievable.
Many students will risk the rejection of their peers and subject themselves to outright discrimination on April 20 to stand up for biblical truth on campuses nationwide on the Day of Truth. This annual event originated five years ago to affirm every students' constitutional right to free speech and to provide an opportunity to have an honest conversation about sexuality. These students will courageously join their voices with the more than 13,000 others who in years past have done just that. I stand with them as someone who has experienced the freedom truth brings and I am reminded that we are in good company. Jesus was a social outcast. He told us we would be too in 1 John 3:13, "Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you," and in John 15:18, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." He considered us worth the rejection of the world. May we consider those who reject us worth the same.
Alan Chambers is the President of Exodus International, the largest worldwide Christian outreach to those dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction and the author of two books - God's Grace & the Homosexual Next Door and Leaving Homosexuality. http://www.exodusinternational.org/
Richard Holloman said:
The Church Gets a D- At BestMuch of the current anomosity that is directed toward Exodus ministries and many churches by individuals who are gay-identified stems from the fact that the Church in general has done a very poor job in loving and understanding those of us who have strugged with or who experience same-sex attraction issues. The church has been excellent at pointing out sinfulness but has been greatly lacking in the area of being redemptive or understanding toward those who deal with SSA. This is totally unfortunate becasue Exodus International and those who serve with Exodus International and in ministries affiliated with Exodus International are striving to be Christ-like in compassion, love and understanding toward those who deal with SSA. Much of what we have heard through the media and by some gay-embracing individuals has been unfair and untrue. Exodus International and affiliating ministries simply believe the Bible teaches that any sexual behavior outside of marriage between one biological male and one biological female is contrary to God's plan and purposes and is sinful. This is not hatred. It is our faith. If this is truly what we believe then not to speak out would be the unloving thing. The question is what does the Bible really teach. The bottom line for Exodus ministries and most believers is this is biblical truth and is not up for debate. Some who disagree have chosen to be unfair and charge us with hatred, hate speech and homophobs. This also is just as unfortunate as is how the church in the past has dealt with ssa issues. The ironic thing about this is Exodus International and those involved with Exodus ministries have a desire to challenge the Church to become more biblical in dealing with this issue and more Christ-like in responding to those who are hurting. Jesus calls us to a radical love that is unconditional and comes absolutely from His Spirit within us. Therefore, I don't care who you are, where you've been, or what you have done . . . I love you and accept you where you're at. I will walk with you and will pray that you don't remain there.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Facebook | Home - 2009 Exodus Freedom Conference Video Promo
I saw this for the first time today. It's a good promo piece for the Exodus Freedom Conference for 2009. I want to encourage everyone to pray about attending or providing funds for others to attend! Let me hear from you -- richard@thesightministry.org or 615-509-0782.
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